Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"I carried a watermelon"

Tuesday, January 31, 2006
There is a scene in Dirty Dancing (epic example of cinematic greatness), where Baby meets Johnny for the first time. She's headed on down to the employee lounge, where the summer resort staff is gettin' their bump and grind on. Baby helps Johnny's cousin carry some party supplies in, and when he introduces her to the oh-so-handsome, sweaty Patrick Swayze/Johnny, Baby's only response is "I carried a watermelon".

I totally had that moment on Friday night.

Some background may be required- since August, I have been madly infatuated with the 100% Perfect Boy for Me, a dreamboat that I'll simply refer to as D. If he asked, I'd drop out of school, have 6 of his kids, and drive a minivan for the rest of my life. I'd give all my money to the church, renounce the holy following of Manolo Blahnik, and never again lust after another man. Did I mention that D. and I had NEVER MET? Not officially, anyway. I saw him at a theatre thing in August, and then in September through 3 layers of window and across a parking lot, and ONE DAY, he came into the Starbucks in Kensington that I frequent. However, actually saying anything to him- not happening.

Until Friday, when I was determined to get an introduction. My dear friend Amanda orchestrated this elaborate set-up scheme for a different friend of hers, and D. was also going to be at the show we saw. Finally, my chance to impress! To dazzle him with my charm and wit! To make him believe that I was indeed the 100% Perfect Girl for Him! Instead- what do I say? When he comments that he's looking for a friend- I say,

"You could make a sign!" Cheese.

Should've just carried a watermelon.