Sunday, March 05, 2006

(untitled)

Sunday, March 05, 2006
I spent a good part of this past weekend at the Pumphouse, working in the box office for Ground Zero and generally annoying the Pumphouse Employees. I did get to see the show gratis, which is always a bonus if you're a starving student that was stupid enough to leave her wallet on a public city bus. In addition to watching one of the best one-handed shows (if not the best all-around production) I've seen this season, I feel that I was prompted to look deeper into some of the decisions I've made in my life.

"Dough: The Politics of Martha Stewart" examined some of the repercussions of the expectations the modern woman places on herself. The need to have a beautiful home, throw the perfect dinner party, and create handcrafted keepsakes are typical of the Martha Generation, but the idea that life never exactly matches the pictures in the magazines, or the pictures we have in our heads, applies to everyone.

When I look at where I am in my life right now- almost 22, on the verge of completing my degree, and living in Residence, I can guarantee that this is not how I thought things would work out. I didn't see myself in Calgary, doing, god forbid, a BComm. I never even wanted to live in Rez! I thought I'd be in a serious relationship, taking Optometry at Waterloo, maybe spending a year abroad. I'm happy where I am, but it's definitely not the image of collegiate perfection I thought my life would be.

I had a conversation with Ian, one of the guys that works at the theatre, last night about the worst criticism we'd ever recieved from a professor. He said that the worst comment he'd ever had, the worst he could imagine, was that his ideas were "safe".

This frightens me. So many of the choices I've made, roads I've taken, have been persued because they were safe, or easy. "Take the path of least resistance!" I told myself. This is really hard to swallow, as I always have thought of myself as someone that is up for a challenge. If I truly was, why did I decide to come to Calgary? Why do I still live on Campus? Why didn't I take a few years off, discover who I was and where I need to be?

Most frightening is the idea that when I do finally get a job, I'll be stuck in middle-management, because I always took the safe route. I know risk vs. return, for the love of maude, I'm a business major. I know that she with the most guts reaps the biggest rewards- socially, professionally, and personally. While I know I've made some gutsy moves- I need to make more.

Goodbye, Comfort Zone. I'll miss you...more than I'm willing to admit.

6 comments:

kent said...

Wow, Megan...that's insight you can take to the bank.

There are far too many people out there that stick to their comfort zones and only do what is easy (myself included). Good call.

Tambo said...

Ian Martens is a brilliant, brilliant man.

Miss Canthus said...

Its much easier than you might think to step outside your comfort zone. Try throwing a dart at a map and then go buy a plane ticket to that country. You will do fine no matter where you land because you will rise to the occasion. You will also mature and become wonderfully independent because you have no one to lean on. Just yourself. It is exhilarating.

Stepping outside one's comfort zone becomes addictive and will supply you with many great stories to tell your grandchildren someday.

Lady Rose said...

what??? You're taking life advice from Ian?? I understand that the Martha show shook you up, I was right there with you, but that is no reason to start making poor life decisions!! People who take time off to "discover themselves" are pretentious, lazy wankers. you know this.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try new things but if throwing the perfect dinner party makes you happy why the fuck shouldn't you be allowed to do it?

Carmabelle said...

While I support your decision to get out there and try new things...I feel I must point out two things:
1)You yourself said that going to Calgary wasn't easy. You left behind everything and everyone you knew and had to start over. First, you need to give yourself more credit and second, do you really want to do that again?
2)There is absolutely nothing wrong with dinner parties. Remeber the roast beef one with the dusty peas?? That was a GOOD time. Something I know I'm going to remember for a long time to come. So hun I realize that Martha is scary is EVERY aspect of her life....but please don't write off dinner parties because they didn't work out for some middle aged hussy.
So try new things, be stupid even....but please be careful. I need you too much for you to go even farther away. I already never visit you and yo are only 5 hours away. Think of how much worse it will be it you live across a body of open water. WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?!

Meg said...

For the record, I love dinner parties. Not so much the hosting them part, because I live in a shanty and I burn things. That's not really what I was getting at, but okay, we'll roll with it.