Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't Nice

Saturday, April 29, 2006
There are times when, after having someone I absolutely despise tread all over me, that I wish I could release the raging bitch within. Instead of smiling sweetly, and saying, "oh, absolutely! no problem!", I would launch into a rampage and someone would lose an appendage.

But oh, no. I have such a heightened guilt complex that the very thought of upsetting someone makes me feel bad. So when someone comes into work, say, and tries on 14 tops, then hangs them all back on the hangers INSIDE OUT, I say nothing. That's my job. Hang shirts. Re-hang shirts. Smile. Nod. Smile. "Oooh, that looks amazing!". But what I wish I could say is more like, "Oooh, that would look amazing, except it makes you look the colour of concrete, and accentuates your back fat. Plus, I don't think you could afford it."

Or, say, when someone rolls through the box office, and tells me, "I couldn't see anything on the right side of the stage. Could you tell the actors to switch sides? Then I could see better." I said, "I'll pass that along. Thank you." Now, this was for the show I'm NOT doing box office for. I have nothing to do with that show. I could care LESS about that show. That show could float away into oblivion and take all its patrons with it, for all I care. If I had my day of bitchiness, I probably would have said, "Gee, lady. That's not my freaking problem. Next time, why don't you show up more than 2 minutes before the show starts. Then, maybe you and your flock of homely rugrats could sit somewhere else, and little Jimmy-Jenny-Bobby-Sue could actually see the show. But then they'd have to shut the hell up."

Or, instead of saying, "Oh, sure, I'll take care of that for you.", I'd have shoved that bag of Spolumbo's Sausages back into Princess' face, telling her to take her goddamn meat elsewhere, for she's not involved with any show except for boinking one of the actors, therefore, she does not have green room priviledges. Particularly for the green room in the other theatre. Oh, and, I would have told her that she has fat calves.


Meg said...

Yep. I have this problem too.

kent said...

The rant is back. Outstanding.

Evil incarnate said...

Release the bitch within, otherwise these stupid people will think they are entitled to be stupid. They must be STOPPED!!!