Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Creepy Elevator Man

Tuesday, May 16, 2006
You know exactly who I mean. That guy you absolutely don't want to get stuck in a confined place with.

Thankfully, I was only going to the 4th floor- and so was he. Creepy Elevator Man in question looked super familiar, but I'm sure he's just an actor I've seen in some play/musical revue/dinner show/creative collaboration somewhere along the line. He strolls on to the elevator behind me, carrying some Mickey Dee's takeout, which, by the way, actually smells Deelish, because at this point, I haven't eaten since the previous day at noon. Damn school, getting in the way of the food pyramid!

But I digress.

So CEM makes a comment about how his odiferous food must be making me hungry. Well, actually, CEM, by the second floor, I want to yak, but thanks for commenting. He keeps trying to make awkward small talk as the elevator makes the excruciatingly slow climb to the fourth floor. "I should have taken the stairs," I think. But soon, I am released from this tin box of death, reeking of fries and big macs and desperate coversation. No more avoiding eye contact for me!

Fast-forward 22 minutes. I'm getting back on the elevator to go back downstairs. Thinking I'm safe, that CEM has gone back to the accounting department, or the janitor's closet, or the mass-murderer/serial rapist/voodoo practitioner's office, or whatever the heck he does to make rent.

But NOO.

I slink into the elevator, pleased as punch with myself, when I hear a "hold the door!" from down the hall.

That's right. Creepy Elevator Man waited. For me. To make my inevitable descent to the lobby.

Lesson Learned: NEVER smile at a man in a Jesus Christ Superstar T-Shirt.