Thursday, June 29, 2006

Week-Night Out

Thursday, June 29, 2006
Last night, I joined a bunch of friends at the Auburn, to hear a few script readings. I have to say, some were, uh...full of unique artistic expression...but others were hilarious. Oh! The Curvy Fit Capris! And my friend Jon's piece was really clever. It was definitely a fun event. Good times were had by Megan.

Anywho, I'm about to go write my first of many final exams- and then I'm done. DONE.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Norwegian Wood

Wednesday, June 28, 2006
So every year, when summer rolls around, I have these lofty ambitions of reading all kinds of 'worthwhile' books. Every summer, the same thing- and I usually end up reading something by Danielle Steele.

Well, this summer, I read:
"American Gods" by Neil Gaiman
"A Complicated Kindness" by some manitoba lady
"A Prayer for Owen Meany" and "A Widow for One Year" by John Irving
Two Smutty Historical Romance Novels
"Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami
A few smutty Chicklit novels...notably, "The Devil Wears Prada" and 'Innocence"

I think I struck a relatively happy medium. There's enough trash there to keep my interest, as I've got the world's shortest attention span, and enough worthwhile contributions to literature that I feel not so bad about myself.

I never made it through "Catcher in the Rye", though.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Hot. Hottt.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I'm sitting in class right now- pretending to look like I'm taking notes- but instead, I'm BLOGGING!

It is so hot. I'm really in need of a slurpee or other frozen concotion. I fully intend on abusing tomorrow's anticipated heat by sitting in my back yard and eating popsicles. Oh, and studying.

Well, apparently the heat has FRIED my brain.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Potluck Outrage!

Monday, June 26, 2006
Okay, so no one ate my sandwiches. What, did you not have a childhood, people? I even sang the Fred Penner Sandwiches song! C'mon, show a little respect- that's what a potluck is about. I ate the weird potatoe thing and the cold noodles that clearly had been undercooked...

On the upside- tomorrow is my last. day. of. university. classes.

And, in other news, I have (for financial reasons) given up Starbucks. This is potentially the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. So far, it's been since Thursday. I can make a week...maybe...ooh, sweet, sweet frappuccinos, soothing ventinonfatextrahottazochai, I miss you so.

At least I didn't try to give up diet coke. Now THAT would be a disaster.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Encounters at Safeway

Sunday, June 25, 2006
I was in line at Safeway this evening, buying 2 loaves of McGavin's White Bread (for my contribution to my class' "comfort food potluck"- I'm taking PB&J Sandwiches). When I was waiting for my debit card to be approved, the person behind me taps me on the shoulder and tells me that I look familiar.

I get this often- no big deal. Apparently I look like Everyone's Sister's Best Friend.

Then she asks me if I spent a summer in Quebec 5 years ago.

It was my roommate from that summer. She'd moved to town a few weeks ago, but we lost touch ages ago. How weird.

cue: small child robots singing...

The Things We Hide...

So, here's the thing. For the past 6 weeks or so, I've been living with this guy. He's great- and neither of us is ever really home, so it's not like I ever have to DEAL with him. I'm sure I'm not clean enough for his liking, and I know he annoys me in certain areas, like his insistence on 'siestaing' on the couch all afternoon...but for all intents and purposes, things are pretty swell.


He REFUSES to let me watch Sex and the City at home. Not that he's put an all out ban on it- like he has with margarine, for example- but he makes it clear that it's not kosher. He also mocks my What Not To Wear habit...

So I find myself, after going out for drinks, on a Saturday evening, secretly watching SATC episodes behind his back.

This is ultimately so pathetic.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Can't sleep...clowns will eat me...

Friday, June 23, 2006
Nah, I'm not scared of clowns. (okay, maybe a bit, but not as much as I am absolutely petrified of legless reptiles)

I cannot sleep. Someone, help. I guess this is what I get for consuming that beef dip and like, 5 glasses of diet coke after 9pm. But I can't help it...sweet, sweet nectar of the gods...oh, Diet Coke, where would I be without you?

That's where I'd be.

In other news, this weekend is devoted to house-hunting. I am not pleased at this concept, particularly when I wake up to the news warning a housing shortage, rental rates seem to be rising by the minute, and I don't own any furniture.

NOW I see why so many of my counterparts are shacking up- it's CHEAPER. Hell, if a one-bedroom basement suite can go for $700 plus makes sense to live in sin.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Acts of God

Thursday, June 22, 2006
I am bruised. From the hail. Yes, I happened to be outside late this afternoon, when the heavens parted and a torrential downpour came from above. Oh, and enough hail to collect in the grass and make it look like it had snowed.

As such, I presented my paper on Ruth Reichl's "Garlic and Sapphires" dripping wet. I was ACTUALLY dripping. I have never looked so terrible in front of 40 people I don't know in my life. (Except for that time, at Drama Festival, when I was 16 and "inadvertently" flashed an entire auditorium full of strangers...but that's another story all together).

I am glad that I gave my last presentation of my degree in such a forlorn and disguisting state.

Monday, June 19, 2006

G-to the -Ainfully Employed!

Monday, June 19, 2006
As of approximately 2:13pm today, I have a job.

A real job. A "I have a degree and a career" job. A salaried position, with benefits.


Thanks to Mom and all others praying in all directions of the globe.

ps- it's a damn COOL job, too!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Things I'll Never Learn

Sunday, June 18, 2006
"This is my boyfriend Damien. I use the term 'boyfriend' loosely, because clearly, Damien is a homosexual."
-Margaret Cho, Sex and the City, Season 4

I had a freaking great afternoon, okay? I'm talking margaritas on the Julio's roof-top patio, where you could almost pretend you weren't in the middle of downtown Calgary, if you turned away from the skyline of hideous condos and the orange Tower. Then, some strolling, some crave cupcake action, some good gossip with a good friend I don't get to see often, because she picked up and moved to Olds, and is happily cohabitated (well, almost). I got a sunburn, a tequila buzz, and a sugar rush from delectable cupcakes. Mmm, 3 dollar cupcake.

Anyway. I also went to Chapters, bought a lovely self-help book about managing my 'quarterlife crisis' (oh, that's right. They make those. I had my choice of like, 6 different books. I have to say that I am petrified of the self-help aisle at Chapters. I refuse to go anywhere near it, except under the cover of a non-busy dinner-hour shop. One time, this very strange guy asked me out IN the self-help aisle. I thought maybe I was standing too close to the 'sexual education' books- but nope. SELF HELP MANUALS. That does not bode well for any relationship that starts there.)

And now, I'm going to make me some Kraft Dinner, drink some diet coke, read my self-help book until I break down into a fit of anxious dry-heaves, and then watch Sixteen Candles. Or Dirty Dancing.

And I wonder why I'm single.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


Thursday, June 15, 2006
It's raining. Beautiful, soft, clean rain- thunder too. It's midnight-ish, and I just finished my history paper (in 4 hours..not so bad...) and I'm all contemplative.

But my paper, she is done, and she has a snazzy title. I quite like allliteration, and tend to use, Prof. Rennie, I hope you enjoy every last procrastinated, tossed together, poorly written bit of:

"Isabella: Monarch, Mother, Madonna".

Goodnight, friends.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hopes Up...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Okay, friends, I need some positive vibes sent this-a-way...

I had an interview today, with a company I'd LOVE to work for, doing something I have experience doing and feel relatively competent with. My mom tells me that she's praying to the West for me (which I don't think has anything to do with the direction of Mecca...because I think that's to the East. But the world is round, and henceforth, you can look West, and as it's a circle, eventually you would be looking at yourself if your gaze was able to travel around the circumference of the globe....uh...I think.)

I might also need help writing my history paper, which is due on Thursday, that I haven't started, because I've been busy doing other relevant and important things- like grading other people's work. Does anyone know anything about Queen Isabella of Spain?!

Yikes. 2 and a half more weeks...

Sunday, June 11, 2006


Sunday, June 11, 2006
Okay, so WHAT is with people's msn names?! The "I (L) SO and SUCH" and "22 Days until my Prince comes back to me!" and "Oh, I mushhy mushhy lovelovelove blahblahblah".

Yes. I'm bitter. Extremely. But you know what? I don't come from a people that express a lot of affection verbally. Nor do I throw out terms of endearment to those who have not endeared themselves to me. It's true, I'm currently experiencing the LONGEST LENTEN FAST EVER, but you know what?

All of you mushy sappy ass people should be put on your own island, where your constant sugary diet of pet names and baby talk could slowly erode your teeth and you would choke to death.

I think I pulled my every muscle

This morning, I met Amanda at the Renfrew Pool for a 9am yoga class. I don't usually get up before 9 on a Sunday, but hey- I'm always down for the promise of brunch...

Yoga classes are so intimidating. Why?! I mean, it's stretching, breathing, and clearing one's mind. Shouldn't be so difficult, right? Oh no. Power Yoga at 9am on a Sunday is a little much- and my zen didn't last so long. While it was fun, I couldn't even begin to attempt standing on my head- forget it.

And brunch was sub-par: The Artisan Bistro in Bridgeland? Probably won't be in business for long. (Stay away from the sausage...)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Mormons and Marshmallows

Saturday, June 10, 2006
So, have you ever noticed the extreeeemly satisfying sound that marshmallows make when you bite into them? It's like "biting into an angel..." or maybe "like the sidewalks in heaven".

I wouldn't want to bite a curb here, so maybe I'll go with option A.

Anyway, last night I was on my way to the Yardhouse to meet Lady Rose and her Lovely Friends. The Yardhouse is about 3 blocks from my house, so I was on foot, of course. I was intercepted by two very clean men in matching suits with nametags.

Them: "Do you have a few minutes to talk to us about God?"

Me: "Uh, I'm sort of in a hurry...I'm on the way to the bar..." (WRONG ANSWER)

Them: "Well. Are you a Christian?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm Catholic."

Them: "WELL"

Me: "Uh..."

Them: "Well. Here's a book of Mormon. You should read these sections."

So, I took my Book of Mormon to the bar with me, and gave them Lauren's phone number so they can call in a few weeks to "discuss".

Yes, I'm mean. And possibly sacreligious, but man, those marshmallows...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A Poem

Thursday, June 08, 2006
Prairie Lily,
so offensively orange
like summer construction.
Not commonly found, yet
mockingly splayed across fields of wheat and canola
rare and delicate,
forever in the shadow of

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

And ANOTHER thing!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Please take notice, as this is one of those things that irritates me about Calgarians.

Almost as much as people that stop breathing when they sleep...but not quite. That still irritates me the most.

Monday, June 05, 2006

As Forecasted...

Monday, June 05, 2006
Yes, it was pork.

I ate it anyway, I mean, it's food, and I don't get a lot of that which hasn't been frozen or dehydrated.

The conversation was strained, the atmosphere was stuffy, overall, it was 3 hours I wish I could have back.

And to be totally honest- the food was good, but it wasn't GREAT- and definitely NOT worth 90 bucks. River Cafe, you get a solid 'meh', on a scale of "bah!" to "awesome!".

Oh, Crippling Social Insecurity...

I got off work an hour early today, so that I could make it on time for class tonight (for once!). We're going on a field trip to the River Café, one of the "nicer" restaurants in Calgary. I can assume that I will never again dine at this establishment, at least not on my dime.

But you know what? I don't want to go. I don't want to spend 4 hours with people I don't like, eating expensive food that I paid for unknowingly (sneaky registrars...) and listening to some self-rightous chef stammer on and on. I have a hunch that we'll be eating pork, the meat I don't consume, and that I'll get stuck at a table of 6 people I despise.

I know, I should be thinking positively, I mean, I could be going to a Calgary ACTS meeting!

I'm just not really in the mood to make polite small talk with people. I'm sure that my table-mates won't want to hear about my crummy mood at lenght, and I don't give a damn about theirs. I don't even get to see my friends!

For what it's worth, I'd rather just go to Ali's Awesome Kitchen and eat pizza, so long as I could choose the company.

Sunday, June 04, 2006


Sunday, June 04, 2006
Sundays are so strange, dontcha think? Sure, it's still the weekend. Fun to be had, chores to be finished, and during the primetime season, decent late night tv to be watched. The weather's nice, we recently (read: yesterday) acquired a barbeque. All should be well...

But then there's the other side to Sunday. The "man, I miss my family, my friends, and pot roast. Damn, I miss that pot roast."
Sundays at El Rancho Doug and Lenore were, as I remember them in my soft-focus-technicolour mind's eye, as close as the Baileys ever got to Leave it to Beaver. Usually we had some kind of quasi-elaborate dinner, maybe some kind of family activity.

Then I got a job, and that sucked the wind out of those sails- at least for me.

At any rate, I miss that, as I miss eating with cutlery, sleeping more than 6 hours a night, and my friend Candice.

Anyone wanna go see Nacho Libre with me?

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Thursday, June 01, 2006
I suppose I should clarify my last post.

Thinking about it, it's extremely gauche of me to mock that girl, in all her 14yearoldness. I was her, was what feels like half a lifetime ago (okay, so technically, it's like, a third of a lifetime ago. I'm sure in 8 years I'll look at this blog, if it still exists, and go "gawd! I was such an eejit!), but I still remember how it felt.

I have an army trunk full of spiral-bound notebooks from that time in my life. Maybe that's why I dig this blog thing so much- it's like writing in a journal, except people read it. I can't hide from what I say, and I try not to censor myself. I have to own up to my feelings, something that might come easier with age- but then again, I can't burst into tears in the girls' locker room anymore. (I save that for Denny's, parking lots, and the privacy of my shower...)

Growing up was hard. I remember most what the hurt felt like- hurt for no reason at all. I still remember the pain and shame of the "brad hayes incident" of 1998/99. And of 2001. Oh, and before that, in 1996. Thank god that most of you blog readers have no clue who that is...but it still hurts, a little.

Like a bad bikini wax...

Anyway. I digress. I guess what I really wanted to get across in my last post was that while I've been feeling lately that my life is basically completely down the tubes, at least I'm not 14. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.