Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Last Call for Happiness!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
On the subject of musical choices in the workplace

I love music. I'm not about to claim that I have rocking great taste in music, but it's relatively diverse, and thanks to the upbringing influence of Senor Ping, I have a pretty solid knowlege of what is good and what isn't.

However. The jams I rock out to on my iPod (oh, so urban am I, what a hip sentence fragment!) are not appropriate for work. I'm not sure Breanne would so much appreciate 8 hours a day of Houses of the Holy or even the lovable sounds of the Beatles. Nor do I think the folks on the other side of my movable cube wall would appreciate Nine Inch Nails or Marilyn Manson's cover of Personal Jesus blasted at 9am.

The true problem lies in the fact that I am the holder of the speakers. (And the window, but I share the natural light. I'm not like the office Grinch, at least not all the time) The musical selections I make during the day must not offend anyone, and have to be sort of backgroundy. Unfortunately, I think that someone might kill me if I bring in my newly aquired electronica minicollection, and I'd rather die than listen to the top 40 station. (WHO covers a Hall & Oates song and then does it all trampy-like?! Outraged!) My crappy burned cd stash of the Weakerthans, The New Pornographers, Ben Lee, Jack Johnson, and the soundtrack from the Zach Braff movies will have to do.

And so, at the ripe age of 22, 4 months out of school, I finally understand the question that has been boggling my mind since I discovered FM Radio...

Why the soft-rock station exists.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Life Insurance

Monday, October 30, 2006
Here's something that will make you feel better about yourself:

If I die tomorrow, my life insurance will pay out a whopping $60,000.

That's right, the sum total of my existence is approximately equal to the starting wage of most of my co-graduates.

I hate life.

Random Thoughts of Megan

I need a haircut.

In the past 3 months, I haven't been able to finish 50% of the books I've started. It's getting a little outrageous; it's like a pandemic of literary pickiness.

The Pyjama Men show over at OYR was hilarious. So hilarious that I originally spelt hilarious with two "L"s, lowercase of course, to emphasize the hilarity of it all.

Saskatchewan is better than Alberta because they didn't make me pay for healthcare. Of course, being a dependent, I didn't pay for anything.

Daylight savings time rocks because I get to sleep for an hour longer. It opposite of rocks because I'm hungry NOW, and it's an hour and a half until dinner. Damn.

Halloweenie-sized chocolate bars are, in fact, not an appropriate meal substitute. Especially now that I have to pay for my own damn health coverage.

Friday, October 27, 2006


Friday, October 27, 2006
Jon and Amanda:

I saw this, and thought of you.

I miss you.

Please come back.

Yours in Reality,


"It's Like the 60's. With Less Hope."

So goes a quote from the film Shortbus, released today.

Anyone who has read the paper or been exposed to the entertainment news would know that Shortbus is a film about sex. With unsimulated sex scenes. But...it's not a pornographic film, or so they say.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Art should push boundaries, make people react. But you know, if I wanted to sit in a dark room with a bunch of other people watching a movie with people doin' it for real...I think that need could be fufilled on weeknights at the Uptown Stage and Screen. Or, at that strange party I went to in Kananaskis Hall in my first year of uni, the one sponsored by the Young Liberals- The Paul Martin Kegger, I think it was.

I'm a little weirded out.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Megan T. Bailey, BComm, Master of Robin Hoodology

Wednesday, October 25, 2006
That's right. I just discovered, thanks to the wonders of Wikipedia, that the University of Nottingham will offer, starting in 2007, a Masters degree on the subject of Robin Hood. Mom, Dad, I might need you to cosign a(nother) loan- I believe that I have just found my life's true calling.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

200 Posts

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
There are a lot of things that terrify me. Not frighten me a little, or make me uncomfortably nervous, or a little sweaty. No, these things outright terrify me.

I'm terrified that tonight, I'll lose my voice. That I'll start to cry one day in my office. That all the things and places I've attached wonderful, warm memories to will wither with disappointment and lost trust. I'm terrified that 90% of the time, I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm terrified of my own death- not the dying part, but that I've always seemed to have a pretty clear notion of when and how it's going to happen. I'm terrified that tonight, when I go on stage after the play, the audience is going to take their hatred and disgust and shock and confusion out on me. I'm terrified that I'll trip when I cross the stage at my convocation. I'm terrified that I think I'm smarter than I actually am- and that everyone else knows it.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Incompetent people don't know they are incompetent, and other news

Thursday, October 19, 2006
THIS explains a hell of a lot.

I find it really awkward when, waiting at Starbucks (the one in the Mariott, that charges extra because it's in The Mariott) for my morning coffee, gabbing away at my coworker, and a guy that looks vaguely familiar walks by and says hi. Normal people might find this polite, but I'm stuck trying to figure out where and why he thinks he knows me from. Did we date? Did we have class together? Did I hit on you, drunkenly, at the Den in Fall Semester of 2003? Did we used to play together in the sandbox at the age of three?

I'll never know. The not knowing- it's the worst.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Is it just me...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006
or does everyone feel like they're running around like cheeckens with no heads?

and...Yay! New Pornographers show tonight! Yay! An age-appropriate, non-theatrical activity!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Trappings of a Good Evening

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The following is all I really need to recover from a crappy Tuesday:

Red Wine
Instrumental, Ambient Background Music
Comfortable, Flat Shoes
Capital Letters
Penne with Vodka Cream Sauce (that I'm making myself)
Grey's Anatomy on Video
A Good Book On Deck

Sounds good, non?

Monday, October 16, 2006


Monday, October 16, 2006
I've been trying to write this damn blog post all day. The sad truth is this: I have nothing to say that is even marginally interesting without being bitter.

Again with the giving up of the coffee thing.

Moving right along, Trainspotting was...(I thought I had some internal blog policy about theatre...something about minor characters finding my criticism and ripping me to shreds...maybe I'll put in another elipsis for good measure...)

It was just too much for me. Kudos to the kind folks at Sage for being able to make me feel that uncomfortable, invaded, and violated.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Friday, October 13, 2006
It's Friday.


I'm sorry for the distinct lack of enthusiasm, but I've got a serious case of the Mondays. Which is problematic, because today is, in fact, Friday: the reason to keep slogging through the week, the light at the end of the tunnel, the Holy Grail, the very Chalice of Days. I should be oozing perky from the very centre of my being.

No such luck.


Thursday, October 12, 2006

Why My Office is Different

Thursday, October 12, 2006
Something you might not hear in every office...

"How do you spell bestiality?


My application for convocation from the University of Calgary has (finally) been approved. I'm getting my degree! It only took 5 months of agonizing, drawn out uncertainty while I waited, 'degree pending approval'! Oh, and 9 semesters and thousands of dollars. At least I already have a dress to wear to the damn thing.

On the continued upside, I finally get to make my dad sit through my convocation. I sat through his...and I'm pretty sure mine will not involve sweetgrass or dance circles. Charge the camera batteries, Snowflake.

And finally, in today's lame-to-the-max update, a glimmer of excitement. I'm going to see Trainspotting, the play, not the movie, on Saturday. You should check it out.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Desperately Waiting...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Is it 5:00 yet?

I'm really quite ready to go home. Tuesday, it appears, is very long. Tuesday after the long weekend? Very, very long.

I don't really have much excitment to report, except the flat tire we got on the way back to Calgary from flatskatchewan. Perhaps the only redeeming thing about travelling with a pack of post-adolescent young adult males is that they are forced, through gender expectations, to change flat tires when they occur. Leaving me free to stand outside in the bitter cold, middle-of-nowhere, no wind block in sight, barren prairie.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Best Thing I've Heard All Day

Saturday, October 07, 2006
So I'm here in Eatonia, enjoying a leisurely Hanksgiving Weekend (thaks, Mom) and all the food that comes with it. Last night, Lasagna, tonight, a NINE POUND Roast Beef, and tomorrow, the feast of feasts, a turkey dinner with all the trimmings. (Why do they call them trimmings? It's not like we've put garland and ornaments on the turkey, or fringe and sequins. But that would be really cool...)

There is a wedding in town this weekend, so most of the people I went to school with are home. I won't go into the fact that I wasn't invited, because to be honest, I wasn't friends with the bride or the groom, so why should they be forced to pay for me to attend their spectacle of an event? (They did look lovely, though- they live across the street, we have picture windows, you do the math) At any rate, we were discussing their blessed union this morning over brunch, and my brother, ever the snarky one in the family, said, "I can't believe she has the nerve to wear white!"

His friend Phil replied, "I KNOW. It's after Labour Day. "

Friday, October 06, 2006

Turkey Day is Fast Approaching!

Friday, October 06, 2006
I'm excited. I'm taking a half day today, so I can go home to Saskatchewan, back to El Rancho Doug and Lenore.

Exciting Events that may occur:

1 Spartans Football Game, at Eaton High
Multiple Awkward but welcome encounters with high school classmates
At least 2, maybe 3 solid, home-cooked meals (no pemmican!...i hope)
4 20 year old Boys, wreaking havoc on blessed Eatonia

I can't wait. I look forward to seeing the dog, the house, the turkey...

ooooh, the turkey.

In other news, my head hurts from staring at the pottery wheel. And trying not to blush when someone teased me.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Self-Inflicted Torture

Thursday, October 05, 2006
I've decided to try to cut my coffee habit.

This is not going well. I'm on day 6, and I find it difficult to function. Yesterday, I even deprived myself of my afternoon diet coke. Sweet, sweet diet coke. What was I thinking when I embarked on this?!

Here's my other question: why do I have to give up caffeinated bevvies? This was not inspired by doctor's orders, nor had the coffee shakes become so unbearable that making it through the day was an arduous journey. I just woke up on Saturday, decided that I'd had it with my dependence, and went cold-turkey.

This, in hindsight, is a poor life decision.

Expect me back on the sauce by Tuesday.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Wednesday, October 04, 2006
It's almost that time of day, the blessed hour I can escape my desk and run around in the sunshine (or the dank recesses of the lunchroom). Once again, I have neglected to bring lunch, so I guess I'll be venturing off into the great downtown area to find something to keep me going for the next 6 hours, because I just don't think advil and diet cola are cutting it. (Breakfast of champions, right after CornPops and Bacardi)

I'm pretty excited about upcoming Turkey Holiday. Mom, I know you read this, so please accept this as my formal request for 3-layer jello salad in autumnal colours.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tuesday: Like Monday, but with Less Sympathy

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
No one feels bad for she who rolls into the office on Tuesday morning, looking like a giant, forelorn grape (okay, the cable-knit purple tunic-y sweater thing? not helping) and feeling much like she's been hit by the Vegas Bus.

What an awesome trip. I'm thoroughly and completely exhausted, but it was a damn good time. I came back with my maiden name, but no winnings or tattoos (that was a close call...), I learned that too many of those delicious slushy hurricane drinks only lead to 2am HotDoggery searches, and that slutty pirates are timeless and will ultimately define our society.