But not only to the wallet.
Imagine if you will my awkward predicament when I found myself stuck today.
Not stuck in a parking stall like usual, because the intrepid is so damn huge that I need three or four navigational beacons and a stunt driver to get out of a standard sized parking spot.
Not stuck in mud, like when I was wee and my Dad had to lift me out of my boots and carry me into the house- I can only imagine how well it would go down if I called Lauren one day from outside the house...
"Hey, Diggs, um...I'm stuck in a mud puddle, can you come haul me out of it?"
No, instead, I was shopping for a sports bra and got stuck.
I decided this morning post-elliptical that perhaps the time had come to get rid of the calvin klein undergarment that served me so well through years and years of high school volleyball, basketball, badminton, track and field and phys ed. I mean, I'm almost 23. It deserves a rest.
So I ventured out, made the brave step into the Lululemon, and disaster struck.
One arm straight up in the air, wedged firmly against my ear, the other sort of bent at an awkward angle in front of my head, and nothing is budging. There I am, half topless in the fitting room, an $80 piece of fabric wrapped around my body and slowly cutting off circulation to my brain. I'm going to die like this, I think, and my family will have to fly back from paradiso and be all bitter, so bitter that they don't cut me out of this damn thing and they stick me in the ground, half nude and red in the face from all the effort.
Now does one call for help in this situation?
One throws oneself on the ground, squirming, a muffled "ohnoI'mfinethanks" when the sales assistant comes to offer half-assed assistance, tugging with the one arm and flailing like a dying fish with the other.
But I got out, the damn thing twisted inside out, huffing and puffing and causing quite the scene when I threw it at the mirror and hightailed it out of the damn store before you could say 'badminton racket'.
Maybe I'm not so cut out for sports.
Puffed Wheat Squares
2 days ago