I woke up this morning, and after a long stretch to "Kiss" by Prince and a bowl of corn bran, I got ready for the day.
Now, there was something about the light this morning, or maybe it was the influence of the Artist Formerly Known As, but I looked in the mirror and thought, hot damn! check out my bad self!
So I rolled on out as-was, rocking foxy bedhead (no comb for me this morning!) and feeling pretty saucy. I knew this was going to be a great day- it was hot, I was hawt, and all was going to be good in the world.
Flash forward 6 hours, and with my newly clear vision (thanks, new contact lenses fitted over the lunch break! I can finally see what it is I'm typing!), I'm feeling extra foxalicious. Oh, that's right. I am a sexy beast. And I'm still singing Prince in my head.
I notice a bohemian-looking guy with really well fitting pants walking in front of me. He's one tall drink of water, let me tell you- ponytail, well fitting pants, some kind of earthy tribal bead thing on his wrist. He looks Euro, but not Trashy. Also, he looks like the kind of guy that might smell like sandalwood or something, but not in an offensive patchouli-wearing, living in a van hippie kind of way. Total and utter hawtness. Did I mention the well-fitting pants?
Then, with the sun beaming down, the gods must be smiling at me today... he turns around and looks directly at me. At that very instant, I glance into the mirrored glass window, realize that I've got some kind of large, suspicious looking (probably yogurt!) stain on my shirt, that my hair is unbrushed in a "I live in a van and smell like incense" way and then I realize that I'm actually singing out loud.
And in my shock, I realize that my tall, hot, european pants dude has the Hapsburg nose and one hell of an overbite. Neither minimized by the strange look on his face as he checks out the mess of a megan he is faced with.
Thank god I got new contacts and have the gall to leave my house looking like I belong in a mental institution for the fashion phobic, or I could have had one hell of a time explaing to Breanne why I picked up a fugly european hippie.
Puffed Wheat Squares
2 days ago