Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Apparently you just don't want my money

Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I have finally reached a point where I have a little extra cash lying around in my chequing account, so I decided last night to run over to the Bell store and buy a new phone so everyone will stop bitching at me when I miss calls because it doesn't make any sound when it rings.

(Not bitter)

Anywhoodle, I went into the Bell store at Market Mall and LO AND BEHOLD, the gentleman working there and I had the following conversation:

Meg: Hi.

Dude: Can I help you?

Meg: I got my phone wet and need to buy a new one. I'm one year into my three year contract so I know I have to pay full price for it. (Lie, actually I have a $100 credit but thought I'd just bring that up when paying for it)

Dude: Yeah. Well, they're like $200 bucks...

Meg: I know. I'd like this...(gets cut off)

Dude: Well, you can look around or whatever. WHILE WALKING AWAY.

Did I mention that I was in fact the only customer in the store- the only customer anywhere near the store?

Is my money dirty? Did I smell like anything other than mint or vanilla (which, fyi, is how I always smell)? Did I have something offensive written on my forehead like, "You Biatches Need To Sack Up and Carry the iPhone"?

Fine. I've had it. I'm paying out the rest of my contract and switching to Rogers.

At last

I woke up this morning and looked out the window at the frozen world. Headlights and streetlights and people in a hurry to get somewhere, and I felt a wave of relief. Finally, 2008 has come to a close.

Today is the last day of the year, and I kicked it off with a latte.

I am so excited to get a clean start. It really feels like 2009 is a fresh, unopened notebook for me to scribble all over. Hopefully this year I stay within the lines, at least a little.

I make new years' resolutions every year. I usually don't share them, because I have issues with making my goals public and then publicly failing. This indicates to me that I should probably tell you all what I want to do so that you will yell at me when I don't do it. But I don't like yelling.

Tonight, for most of the world, the year will go out with fireworks and shouting and drunken, regrettable phone calls or text messages.

I just hope to stay home and stay warm, with the people I love and reflect on what a year it's been, and my hopes for the one that is to come.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Leaping Lawnchairs, I made it

Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Well, it's here again.

December 30th, also known fondly as my blogaversary.

I was trying to determine the other day if, when I started blogging, I had any intention of doing it for so long. Honestly, I think I assumed it would be a passing fancy, like the time I tried to write down every single thing I ate (lasted 3 months), or the time I decided to floss twice a day (unn...one day) or even the time I decided I was going to use that in the shower facial product three times a week for glowing, healthy skin. (Don't get me started, I'll do it eventually I swear!)

But blogging is different.

I kept a written journal for years. My very first one was in about Grade 5, a tiny notebook with a holographic cover and a little lock. I graduated to 500 page spiral bound notebooks that I would fill with rants, letters, wishes, and intensely detailed descriptions of High School Megan's ideal Dream Date- where we'd go, what we'd wear, what he'd look like.

I still write in a journal occasionally, but the need to spill my anxieties and insecurities and why-doesn't-he-like-mes in a private place has subsided. Instead, I like sharing the frustrations and odd awkward moments and random thoughts with all of you. I suppose this makes me an attention whore, but it is what it is.

Every few months, I start typing and think, "Now honestly, how long are you going to do this, Bailey?" (because in my internal dialogue, I always refer to myself as Bailey. This is going to be catastrophic when and if I change my last name). How long are you going to want to read about me stripping off my underwear in public places or the things that irritate me about the public transit system, or the list of thousands of things yet unaccomplished that every year, I swear I'll do? How long am I going to want to write about it?

I'm betting on pretty much forever- or until I get that hot book deal and can start charging for it. But because forever is such an abstract, I'll give you this:

I'm in for another year. You?

Monday, December 29, 2008

The indignity of not knowing how to use the remote

Monday, December 29, 2008
Last night I was jigsaw-puzzled right out so I crept downstairs to Dad's fancy new Home Theatre system. Surely with 2 pirate dishes and a legit Bell satellite there'd be something to occupy myself with?

Alas. There was not.

I'm sure there was something worth watching on the thousands of channels available at El Rancho Doug and Lenore, however, to access them means being able to commandeer one of the three remote controls.

So I got stuck watching what was on when I got downstairs:

Hannah Montana.

Which begs the question- why was the TV left on the Disney Channel in the first place?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

There is once again I'm assuming, no snow in Africa this Christmas

Sunday, December 28, 2008
Well, it's over. Unless you are a follower of the Orthodox Calendar- then it's not even HERE yet!

I ran up to Saskatoon yesterday to meet up with Erin and Carmen and pick out fab bridesmaid dresses for Erin's wedding. Let me tell you- that was easier and entirely more fun than anticipated. However, it seems that the mornings of sitting on the couch eating a cookie and drinking coffee with full-fat whipping cream in it while my mom cooks sausage need to come to a rapid close, or I won't look so hot in that body skimming ivory satin number.

Thankfully (and also, Mournfully), tomorrow morning I'll head back home to Calgary where breakfast is overlooked and coffee with real cream is a mere fantasy.

So here it is, because I've got nothing else to blog about- my 2008 Christmas Morning Giftventory:

-electric skillet
-sony cyber shot camera
-camera case, water and diet soda proof
-snowman cookie jar
-2 moleskin notebooks
-body wash scented like a caramel mocha latte (sweeeeet)
-framed Group of Seven print
-two cookbooks
-turquoise sweater and matching camisole
-sephora gift card
-iPod car charger for Gary to use because I no longer own a working iPod (maybe should have mentioned that earlier)
-Stocking: 6 pairs of black socks, peppermint body wash, vanilla body wash, 2 packs of gum, 3 chocolates, smartie ball, hideous but super warm knitted slipper booties, stress-relieving body lotion

From Gary: Awesome box full of all my most beloved things, including the 6 season SATC Ultimate box set, the SATC Movie Extended Cut bluray, a giant jar of gummi bears, body butters, coffee...on and on with awesomeness!

From Gary's Mom: 2 purses, sweet pea body wash, candles, soap, an angel ornament

It was seriously an awesome year for gift-receiving.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Diet Cokesaster 2: The Cokesastering

Friday, December 26, 2008
We have run out of diet coke.

ACTUALLY, we ran out of diet coke on Christmas Eve and I have been dying a progressively slower death since then.

Fortunately for me, I am on the road again tomorrow to the grand city of Saskatoon, where I am positive that they not only have diet coke, but it is available for purchase and consumption at both room and chilled temperatures.

THANK THE LORD.

I really don't know what I'm supposed to drink with the lasagna tonight. Don't the people here understand the Diet Coke is the Drink of Christmas?!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Puzzles and Turkeys and Mac Products, oh my

Thursday, December 25, 2008
First off, merry festive wishes to you!

So we're sitting around recovering from a giant turkey dinner involving a fourteen layer jello salad, and it appears that we have on hand: 3 mac laptops, 3 iPod Touches, several cell phones (probably 10 or 12), and a partridge in a pear tree.

And a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle that is NIGH IMPOSSIBLE because it consists of white, white, blue and white. And white.

I hope Santa was good to you- he sure was good to me!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

'Twas the blog before Christmas

Wednesday, December 24, 2008
And all through the house
the dominos were playing, someone's brother acting like a louse.
The stockings were hung on the wood paneling in the basement with care
in hopes that the dogs wouldn't chew on them (or anyone's underwear).
Grandma was tucked in and snug in her bed,
Neil Young, Clapton and the Eagles were stuck in their heads.
The cookies and memories brought out some really mushy sap,
And Uncle Ray's educational re-gift made sure no one would get the clap.

It's Christmas Eve at the Baileys, and yes, the dominos ended violently when someone (not naming names) (who may be a little brother of someone who blogs regularly) was a POOR LOSER, and yes, someone thoughtfully re-gifted a STD Prevention brochure. But now the cousins are fighting it out over the couches- 6 cousins, 4 couches...

and I'm about to tuck myself in (on the floor- I lost) with Hugo, the Hippopotamus that I got for Christmas.

From under the tree (literally) at my house to you, where ever you are in the world- peace and love.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

OH MY GA IS IT CHRISTMAS YET I AM OUT OF WITTY LYRICALLY REFERENCED TITLES

Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Okay.

Tuesday Megan is totally peeved at Monday Megan...but not really. Tuesday Megan has re-labelled the gigantor stack of work to her left "Optional", but really it should be called "Mandatory, Needs to be completed before YOU LEAVE today". Le sigh.

Tonight, I force Mr. G to open his Christmas present, and I will be waiting for the look of glee previously only exhibited by children under 7. That's right, Gary, no pressure, but you'd better be delighted.

Whoa. Apparently I'm a little hostile before my coffee sinks in.

Anyway, I just wanted to express my excitement and start the day on a good note before I dive headfirst into inflamed joints and endless proofreading of my own crappy writing.

Ho ho, ho!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Oh Christmas Zit, Oh Christmas Zit...

Monday, December 22, 2008
How lovely to see you again!

Grr.

For the past year my skin has been essentially clear and glowing. I am working my way towards the traditional English rose complexion- which is to say, pale as the day is long. But at least my skin is clear.

Yeah, until yesterday morning, when it arrived.

I swear that damn zit shows up every year, like someone's Great-Uncle Melvin who is sort of crazy and a bit handsy and always smells like Canadian Club- it's part of the holiday and no matter how you mentally prepare and try to find something to occupy its attention, nope. There it is. Rearing it's ugly little presence.

So ONCE AGAIN I will have the unfortunate task of trying to concealer that thing out of view in all the Christmas photo ops.

Or I could talk nice to my Uncle Ray (who is totally not like Great Uncle Melvin AT ALL in ANY WAY) and get him and his Photo Editing Elves to fix that problem for me, apres the fact.

Let it stop, let it stop, let it stop

This newest layer of snow is actually kind of pretty. It's white and fluffy and sparkly, unlike it's hard-crystal icy underlayer.

That said, it's no easier to drive in.

This weekend was particularly enjoyable, but way too short. I learned that wedding dresses are really heavy, that my back hurts when I wear crappy shoes, that the relationship I'm in can indeed withstand two intense backstabbing and two-timing rounds of Carcassonne, and that I like broccoli with garlic and almonds on it.

Mmm. Broccoli.

Just an update- one sleep 'til I force Gary to start Christmas early, two sleeps 'til I return to the Motherland, three sleeps 'til Santa comes and I get up way too early and 'whiten' my coffee with Baileys.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Three Work Days Left...

Friday, December 19, 2008
I really should have called in "not coming" to work this morning. Seriously. I have a headache (again) and I completely lack motivation. And breakfast. Usually I have something kicking around here that's consumable, but all I'm looking at today is leftover cookies and the gross fruit-creme chocolates left in the treat box. Sigh.

The first thought I had this morning, after 'bleeeerg, is it 7:15? No, it's 8:15. Damn you, daytime.' was 'how many sleeps?!'. Then I blurrily counted them out on my fingers. Twice.

There are 4 sleeps until I force Gary to open his present(s?) early.

There are 5 sleeps until I pack up the car and head to El Rancho Doug and Lenore.

There are 6 sleeps until Santa comes.

I'm a little bit excited. I've got two more gifts to purchase and wrap, and a few more cards to mail today. I suppose I should do some laundry so I have clean clothing to don under the tree, but I was mostly banking on wearing the PJ's I bought at Superstore for $6.94 all holiday long.

The end of this month, and thus, the end of this year cannot come soon enough. I'm ready, 2009, whenever you are. (For the record...13 more sleeps until 2009).

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's still snowing...

Thursday, December 18, 2008
Still. Awesome. If I actually enjoyed cold-weather outdoor activities, I would be blissfully content.

I don't, but it's really pretty.

Last night I ate so much Thai at the King & I. Deeelish. I've had little experience with Thai- I generally lean towards delicious delicious vietnamese, and this time last year I was on quite the sushi kick. I'll always be a fan of Western Canadian Chinese- ginger beef, chicken friend rice, sweet and sour chicken balls, wonton soup. But that coconut green curry and shrimp was really delicious. Too bad that the King & I is mostly out of the 2009 Megan Budget.

Speaking of the 2009 Megan Budget, I've come up with a solution to my "Going to Germany and Got No Way to Pay" predicament.

I've secured myself a part-time job.

For the next little while, most of my Saturday and Sunday afternoons will be spent.....

as a Bridal Consultant at the swankiest Wedding Boutique in town.

Totally not what you thought I'd say, eh?

My rationale being: I wanted to work in retail ('cause I'm sick in the head), I wanted to work somewhere that would be fun and different, I have experience with "High End Retail Snobbery" and I didn't want to blow my entire paycheque on staff-discounted merchandise.

Hellooooo, many-thousand-dollar-wear-once-gowns. Won't be bringing any of you home, that's for sure.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008
A bit preemptive, but I'm ready to go for thai and I'm out of work to do today.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Collected unemployment after I lost my job at EY.

2. Did you keep your New Years Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, I made one resolution, it isn’t blog appropriate material, and by the 4th day of the year it was signed, sealed and delivered.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but a few people close to me fell pregnant. That’s how they say it in the UK and I dig it.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. I was lucky.

5. What countries did you visit?
The US, that was it. Though at least I got out of the country- not so much in 2007!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Consistency and Routine.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 18, because that was the day that I met Gary, stopped being a sad sack about being jobless, and generally turned right around in attitude. April 10, the night of my drunken ridiculous birthday party where bad things happened and I vomited in a mesh waste basket I was holding in my lap.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Pulling through a three-month unemployment period mostly intact.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing my job, but most will say that wasn’t failure. I’d say losing my confidence.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, I pretty much kept it in the healthy zone through the entire calendar!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My sassy Mazda3. Also, my expensive Mazda3.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends, particularly Amanda and Allison, our own little support group.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I was in a pretty rough funk in 2008. It was the year of change. I thought I liked change, but as it were, I like variety but certainty. My behavior depressed me, terrible people on the news depressed me, former employers depressed me.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt. Keeping above water. Oh, and my new car.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Falling in love.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
The High Fidelity soundtrack, I think. Oh, and that stupid “I Kissed a Girl” song. Grrrr....

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. more happy or more sad?
I’m happier, but if you’d told me last year where I’d be in 12 months, I wouldn’t have believed you!
b. thinner or fatter?
Geeez. No, wait. I’m thinner. No more room service and morning croissants...
c. richer or poorer?
I make more money, but I keep less of it!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saved money. Explored my options. Kept my spirits up even when no one else was around. Had hope. Smiled in the first 3 months of the year.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Self-obsessing. Resume editing. Spending money I didn’t have.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas Eve-Eve is in Calgary with Gary and his mom, then I’m going to El Rancho Doug and Lenore on the 24th. Driving up to Sasktoon on the 27th, and then back to Calgary the 29th.

21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2007?
Uh...you know, crying in a taxi cab was pretty bad.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, Yes, Yes. Just once but more and more every day.

23. How many one-night stands?
Not blog appropriate material, sorry, but technically- none.

24. What was your favorite tv program?
Well, I stopped watching TV, but I’d say that Veronica Mars, Doctor Who, HIMYM and Californication top my tv-on-dvd viewing queue.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I wouldn’t call it hatred. I’m disappointed in people, I significantly dislike people I didn’t even know last year, and some people I don’t talk to anymore but miss a little bit.

26. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm. I read so much, it’s hard to say. But definitely Tall, Dark and Kilted. Hot paranormal smutty romance. (Just kidding...but maybe honestly it was Teen Vampire Smut #1)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Format

28. What did you want and get [in general]?
Happiness, a relationship that functioned well, a pay raise, peace of mind.

29. What did you want and not get?
A job involving Edutainment, a trip to Greece, an even suntan.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I’d say Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang ranked up there as a 2008 discovery.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I’m 24. My birthday was spent having a really nice dinner with my brand-new boyfriend at Brewster’s. My birthday party was an irrecoverable disaster at the Amsterdam Rhino.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More vacation time.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
“Don’t leave the house in that”.

34. What kept you sane?
My friends, sucking it up and keeping up appearances, Gary, hope for the future.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
DAVID TENNANT.

37. Who do you miss?
So many. The people I worked with at EY (most of them), the people I worked with at ATP, old friends.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The US Presidential Election. Oh, no, wait, it was the Alberta Provincial Election, and I was interviewed on CBC radio about it! I was mighty stirred up about that one!

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Clearly it was my boyfriend. But I’m really biased.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
Ever tried, ever failed. No matter. Fail again. Fail better.

Or, believe in yourself and what you can do.

Silver Bells, siiiiilver belllllss....

So it's approximately 9:37 in the a.m., and I am one of the three people of our office of 9 or so that have shown up for work. So far.

The heat is back on, though my toes are pretty cold. Because I was the first coffee hound in this morning, I had the glorious task of putting on the first pot.

I am generally banned from making coffee in this office, after the Edmonton Fundraiser Java from the Darkest Depths of Hell incident. But bwaha! I'm here, you're not, the coffee's strong, hahahahaha.

Yep, a little punchy this morning. Clearly need to stop with the sugar cookies for breakfast.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

At least one-third Elf

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ho ho! I did get sent home early from work this morning. And what did I do with my day? I busted out my best Ms. Claus, tied on my super-cute frilly apron and shopped, baked, wrapped and baked again.

24 mini cherry cheesecakes (btw, what DOES one do with half a can of cherry pie filling?), 3 dozen sugar cookies, 9 wrapped gifts, one Christmas CD (repeated twice) and hundreds of sprinkles later, CHRISTMAS HAS ARRIVED!

Basking in the warmth of the space heater, it occurred to me that Christmas is but a week and a day away, and I am finally in a festive mood.

But it also occurred to me, as I was rolling out the cookie dough that had stuck to the friggin' counter, again, that there are about a zillion skills that my mother (and every other mother on the planet) seems to have, that I totally lack.

Now, I am not sounding any alarm bells, relations, parents and boyfriend please don't freak out, for I am not having childrens today nor anytime soon...but holy crap, there's a lot of stuff I've got to learn, STAT.

Is there a secret book? Is there like, a Mom Manual that arrives care of the Stork, dropped off at my door 6 weeks before the little bundle of joy arrives, that explains how to do EVERYTHING?

Because I am seriously going to need it.

In 5 years.

Or so.

Not that I have a timeline.

Or anything.

Ahem.

Cookies, anyone?

It's getting cold in hurr

Yeah.

So, day two of no heat in my office.

At least today we have running water. (Currently). Thank god for hot coffee and new, fuzzy-lined winter boots, because otherwise I would be a Meganscicle.

We'll see if today the powers-that-sign-my-paycheque let us go home or not. Yesterday I got two solid hours of Christmas shopping in at Best Buy, Future Shop, Superstore and Linens and Things. I'm all but finished- just a few tiny things to pick up, and I'm done!

Huzzah, for off-peak hour unexpected festive spending!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oops.

Monday, December 15, 2008
Well, I tried. I had been doing so well, updating in the morning, et cetera.

But the Friday Funk became the Sunday Blues, which then turned into the Monday I don't wanna be heres.

I got nothin', blogosphere. I have no witty stories, no bon mots, no rants. I've just got a cold cup of coffee, low water pressure as a result of frozen pipes in our office building, and the desire to curl up into a ball and come out again in April.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008
I'm sitting here watching the snow start to fall out my new window with its ugly view. That really has nothing to do with what I want to write about, but I can't figure out a way to start this that isn't "why do you hate me?".

My feelings are really hurt. And you know what, for some deluded reason, I feel like I'm too old to have feelings that are hurt. I'm old enough to just suck it up and move on. Be the bigger person, as it were.

But I honestly feel like I'm seven years old, sitting on the ground in the corner of the playground, wondering why the other kids don't want to play with me.

I think that my biggest character flaw is that I just want everyone to like me.

This is impossible, and I know this- because I certainly don't like everyone. But I try. I try to like everyone. I try to find something redeeming in impossible people. I try really damn hard!

So why do some people have to be so mean?

I hate being an adult. I want my mom.

Things I swore I'd never do, but did

Last night was Gary's Christmas party, and for those of you interested in how my wardrobe decision played out, I decided to wear the purple top and black skirt that I already had hanging in my closet. I bought that skirt probably 7 or 8 years ago. You have served me well, oh black pencil skirt that apparently never goes out of style and fits regardless of how many crave cupcakes I've eaten that week (ONE).

I decided that because I didn't purchase the $39 new dress, I'd splurge and go get my hair cut and styled.

Yeah, I splurged.

The $15 Great Clips special.

My soul hurts. I didn't buy a new outfit, new shoes, new lipstick...and I spent less than a twenty on a haircut. AT GREAT CLIPS.

What have I become? When did this happen? And who knew, when you're really only trimming at most a centimetre off the end of your hair- it doesn't matter if you spend $80 (like I normally do) or the equivalent of three coffees at Starbucks.

This is the least fun part of being a grown up lady.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A little pre-emptive

Thursday, December 11, 2008
Most of you probably already know that I'm moving in March, but if you didn't:

I'm moving in March.

Not anywhere all that exciting, just across the river. No sweat.

At the beginning of the week, I inquired with our receptionist about what happens to the boxes we get our reams and reams and reams of paper in. They're perfect moving boxes- they have handles and lids and are sturdily built, but not too large. She told me that I could have them, and I said awesome, I'll put some aside and take them when the time comes.

Nope, I just turned around to find 14 boxes stacked behind my desk for me to take home today.

I guess this means I can start packing?

My roommate is totally going to freak out. Sarah, don't freak out. Just because I boxed up all my belongings two months early does not mean that I'm leaving you before our predetermined date.

Things I love about Christmas

The smell of my mom's house. Also, the smell of Grandma Olga's house.
Magi's turbans, this awesome cookie my mom makes with a gingersnap base and a hershey's chocolate hug on top. Yum.
Reading Christmas cards and letters from family and friends, including my crazy great aunts. They always make for entertaining reading.
Wrapping presents.
Hiding while my mom wraps presents, including her yelling something along the lines of "Don't come in, I'm wrapping presents!". Every single year she does this, and I love it.
Stocking stuffers- give this girl a small margarine tub of dry froot loops and she's happy.
That first hug after/while coming through the door.
Crazy Bailey Outdoor Hijinks- be it midnight walks, shinny on an outdoor rink, a family curling bonspiel or just a snowball fight in the parking lot of a Denny's.


I had a rough day yesterday, and today I'm trying to focus on things that make me happy. Sorry for the sap, but I need to pull through (yet again) or I'll spend the day silently crying at my desk (yet again).

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My new view

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I used to look out my office window and see a lovely park and an old sandstone school.

Then they fenced the park, tore up the grass and trees and dug a giant pit. I had the pleasure of construction site sounds and dust all day long.

But now I've moved across the office and what do I see?

I look out on 8th street. Into a dodgy Best Western alley. And currently, directly in my line of vision is an overflowing garbage can.

Exactly the inspiration I need on a cold, sluggish Wednesday. Hopefully that trash receptacle full of coffee cups and muffin wrappers and yesterday's paper will give me the creative spark I require to write thank you cards to sponsors, volunteers and fundraising run participants.

Ho-hum.

Wednesday.

Also, up for debate: what should I wear to the Christmas party on Thursday?

-go buy that dress from Reitmans, it's on super sale and you'll definitely wear it again
-wear the dress you already own, it's not seasonally appropriate and has a hole in it, but seriously, is anyone going to notice?
-pull out last year's snazzy purple velour top and a black skirt, it's festive enough
-fuzzy bathrobe

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Dear New Neighbour

Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Welcome to our wonderful community!

You will find many amenities here: coffee, coffee, fine cheeses, expensive chocolates, ye olde pubbes, yoga wear imported from Vancouver, tchotchkes from across the globe (including...gasp...Nunavut!) and even gourmet cupcakes!

I sincerely hope that you find the residents here welcoming, friendly and warm.

What you may not find, however, is that running on your treadmill in your new picture window at 5:30 pm in just your underwear is all that appreciated. I definitely understand your desire to be fit, however, exposing your wobbly beer belly to the entire neighbourhood while they are on their way home to MAKE DINNER may not be the best idea in the universe.

Hugs and Kisses (but not too close because you look really sweaty),

Meg

Monday, December 08, 2008

I continue to shame myself in public

Monday, December 08, 2008
Carring a fake potted palm tree, I stroll into the office supply room. In a festive mood, I am silently, in my head, singing "You're a mean one, Mister Grinch", when I open the stationary supply closet to find a new spiral bound notebook.

As the song in my head reaches the climax of the chorus, I do a little hip wiggle and close the closet door. Turning around, I spy my coworker keeled over in half, leaning on the photocopier for support, red in the face and doing that painful tears in the eyes silent laugh.

Apparently I belted out in my best Boris Karloff imitation, "MISTER GRIIIIIIIINCH" while I was head into the supply closet.

Why do I ALWAYS do this? Is there anyone else on the planet that sometimes doesn't realize that they're not, in fact, using their Inside My Head voice?!

My coworker is still trying to hold back the laughter.

Clocking in late

This weekend over hashbrowns at Dennys, it was requested that I change my posting schedule.

I'm now asked to post before 10:00 am, and at least twice a day.

Man, there is going to be a lot of blog filler in the next few days, until something interesting happens to me...

So would you believe that I spent two days shopping with my mom and only bought ONE Christmas present? And even more shocking- I didn't buy a single thing for myself?

Two days, two malls, one trip to ikea, discovering that 30 white galvanized tin lanterns actually DO fit in my trunk, losing my car in the parking lot only one time (but the time that we were carrying out the box of 30 lanterns...), countless renditions of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas", one awesome giant heavy snowfall, and not enough caffeine. Sounds like holiday shopping to me!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Cookies and snowflakes and mittens and shopping

Thursday, December 04, 2008
That's what I'm doing this weekend.

I'm taking tomorrow of in lieu (god, I love the way those words sound) and so I have a surprise December Long Weekend ahead of me. I plan to snuggle in tonight after book club and then spend the weekend brimming with holiday joy.

Or, in the words of my coworker: "That's right, bitches. It's Christmas"

I am going to be so despicably happy this weekend that my parents, my brother (hey, Sibbie!) and my boyfriend are going to want to SLAP me.

Slap me with holiday cheer.

But first: I must conquer the parking lot at Chinook Centre. SHOPPING SUIT UP!

Decemburrr

Dang, it is cold outside. I think that if it's going to be -15, at least we should have snow. It's such a drag to get out of bed in the morning, look outside, observe that it's sunny and the streets are dry, and then skip through the door to be blasted with an arctic chill. There is not enough chapstic (or anti-frizz cream) in the world for this climate.

So hey, I'm taking tomorrow off. Hurrah, a visit with my parents involving a Saturday trip to Chinook Centre, an adventure I am afraid of, but less so now that I own a car with nimble parking prowess. Fingers crossed that I get my mileage reimbursement and can go hog wild buying awesome gifts, possibly at petland, potentially involving a box.

This is a boring blog post and I apologize. It's the first thing in the morning. The caffeine hasn't kicked in yet. What do you expect? Have you ever seen me in the morning? I take about an hour to warm up.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Santa Baby...

Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Dear Santa,

Wow. A whole year has passed! Look at that. And here we are, in 2008, and I am finally not starting this letter with, "Dear Santa, all I really want is *cue the music* Somebody to Love. And a pony. Hugs and kisses, Megan. PS- please make sure to poke holes in the box so my new rockstar boyfriend can breathe. And the pony."

Nope, this year, I've got pretty much everything a girl could want. I've got a sweet house with heating that is mostly inconsistent, enough tide-to-go pens to last me a lifetime, a new toothbrush (Thanks, Dentist!) and a boyfriend who isn't a rock star, but didn't ditch me the one time I accidentally called him Sugar Bear at a cocktail party my friends were having. Ooops!

So because I've been so fortunate in 2008 to have great friends and amazing family and found sappy sap sap sap, sap sap saaaap sap sap outrageous happiness with Somebody to Love (*cue music- what, too much?*), I'm going to dictate a list that is full of stuff I have absolutely no honest belief of ever recieving, unless someone hits the jackpot/SURPRISE! finds themselves to be old money/does some serious crimes.

And so, for your perusal, my I Was Super Nice in 2008, No Honestly, I Swear, I Only Was Mean To My Brother Once wish list:

-A new macbook
-A trip to Fiji
-A pair of Manolos to call my own
-A spa visit a week for the rest of my life
-this
-one hundred million dollars, in small bills
-an indoor pool, empty, so I can place said bills in and roll in them ala Scrooge McDuck
-A box of puppies
-The penthouse in the Stella condo building
-A box of puppies
-A private jet, plus fuel for the year
-A sephora gift card, worth about $30.

Thanks, Santa!

Hugs and Kisses,

Meg

Monday, December 01, 2008

To-Do: A list

Monday, December 01, 2008
-Buy stamps. Lots of stamps.
-Acquire the mailing addresses of loved ones and friends from far and wide. (Hint: If I love you, send me your mailing address)
-Write Christmas cards. Assume that the Megan section in the annual Bailey Family Christmas Letter my mom wrote omitted the months between February and May, and hope for the best.
-Buy box of puppies, wrap, and give to self for eary Christmas gift
-Buy socks.
-Do laundry. LOTS Of laundry.
-Aim to avoid deathly illness going around.
-Make Christmas Cookies to be consumed with copious amounts of Soy Nog.
-Watch Love Actually while eating butter chicken.
-Attempt to find THE PERFECT GIFT for the following people: Mom, Dad (x2- Decemberbirthdaygrumblecakes), Al, Grandma C, my roommate, Gary (perhaps a box of puppies?), my new boss, my old boss, my boyfriend's mom and my many many friends.
-Contemplate MAKING gifts for my many many friends.
-Determine that launching a giant DIY project 24 days out from the holiday is but a fool's errand.
-Attempt to find THE PERFECT GIFT for my many many friends.
-Adjudicate a western play. Yee. Haw.
-Actually get said adjudication in on time.
-Come up with an appropriate list of New Year's Resolutions. Think SMART resolutions. (you know- something, measurable, attainable, realistic, something...)
-Avoid eating all the Turtles currently sitting in the break room.
-Go eat a Turtle.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The Curious Case of Where the Hell is our Mail

Friday, November 28, 2008
Since moving to the staggering metropolis of Calgary, I have been fascinated by several seemingly ordinary things. To me, the whole notion of pizza delivery, a 24-hour gas station and mail brought right to my house pretty much rank up there with Santa Claus and the awesome smell of Disneyland.

Where I grew up, pizza wasn't delivered; your mom made it by herself on the rare Friday night the whole family was home (and then we played a board game). The gas station was closed after 5pm every night and not open Sundays- or Holidays. And the mail was brought to the post office, where it was sorted into p.o. boxes, and when you were old enough your dad sent you down with his keys on your bike to pick up the day's Coop flier.

How thrilling it was to have the mail carrier come by every day. Yeah, okay, I fully acknowledge that every single person reading this right now thinks I'm an idiot. But whatever, you! I was delighted.

But suspicious things have happened in the past few weeks.

First, our mail stopped arriving.

Then, our mail started arriving again, with illegible, cryptic messages scrawled across the envelopes.

At first, they were pretty clear: "Shovel or no mail".

Our sincerest apologies, oh Mail Carrier! It's probably important for you to realize that my roommate and I are NEVER HOME. No, seriously. NEVER HOME. EVER. EVER. Maybe for like, 20 minutes on a Tuesday or something. Otherwise, NEVER HOME. We take turns coming in, dumping off laundry/mittens/groceries, cooking food quickly, turning lights on and off, and bringing in the mail. The one night of snow we received- neither of us was home to clear the walk, and we really feel bad about it.

But then, the mail disappeared again.

When we did get one errant Natural Gas bill, it had a puzzling message on it. I sat on the step for about 15 minutes trying to figure out what it said. "Be Now Maaaail!" was about the best I could come up with. Sarah seems to think it says, "RE NOV DEFER".

My roommate, the responsible one, called Canada Post.

The mystery continues. My Glamour subscription has yet to arrive. And for once, the excuse, "Seriously, I didn't get your letter. Honestly. Our mail hasn't arrived" will actually be legit.

Stay tuned for what is sure to be an anticlimactic conclusion to the saga of the home mail delivery service.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

How the Co-op Saved Christmas

Thursday, November 27, 2008
Scene: Co-op Marketplace downtown. Young couple enters.

One Female, mid-twenties. Brown hair, wearing awesome winter boots, looking a little weary from a hard day of work and waiting for her car to be serviced. May have taken car to be washed before being serviced, which is kind of the equivalent of shaving one's legs before a bikini wax; something she is also probably guilty of doing.

One Male, late-twenties. Bright eyed and carrying gym bag.

Girl: Blah, blah, blah, conversational blathering including "Hey! These apples smell like grapes, no totally, they smell like grape jiffies!" and "...there are teddy bears in the freezer. No, totally. There are teddy bears in the freezer! Why?!" and "MAAARZIPAN!". She is clearly out of her mind and it's a miracle he is even seen in public with her.

Guy: Mmhm, yes, mmhmm.

Girl: OH MY GOD LOOK.

Guy: What?

Girl: SOY. NOEL. NOG.

Guy: laughter.

Girl: No, totally, it's like the two milk alternative beverages I hate the most, in one container. (makes a series of gagging noises. Again, it's a miracle he is even seen in public with her.) SOY. and. EGG NOG. GAG GAG GAG, etc.

Guy: must. buy. Noel. Nog. (puts bottle of gross beverage into basket)

end scene

Scene 2: Downtown Apartment. One bedroom, somewhere around 700 sq. feet. Girl is in yoga pants and in the process of pre-rinsing casserole dish previously holding delicious dinner of cannelloni.

Guy: enters kitchen. Maniacal laughter as he pours glass of disgusting Noel Nog.

Girl: Makes compromise. Takes one sip of disgusting vegetarian holiday alternative drink.

Girl: Pauses.

Girl: Pauses.

Girl: takes another sip. Steals bite of cookie.

Guy: Hesitantly smiles...

Girl: You're so not getting this drink back.

The End.


And so, my friends, it has come to pass that a compromise has been reached.

This is apparently what a relationship is about- caring enough about someone to let them force you to try what in theory should be the most revolting thing ever, and then liking it.

But I'm totally not budging on Chicken Pizza or Hollandaise Sauce. ESPECIALLY Chicken Pizza with Hollandaise sauce.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

another word that is not a word

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
"grad-ing"


You moron. It's "graduating". "Grad" is an abbreviation and cannot be used as a verb, no matter how what suffix you affix to it!



Sometimes I wonder if they do this just to torment me.

our server is down

again.

So in light of my inability to do work, I present to you:

You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It’s harder than you think.

1. Where is your cell phone?
To my left.

2. Where is your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby?
He's at work.

3. Your hair?
Needs a trim.

4. Where is your father?
On the road.

6. Your favorite thing to do?
Snuggle and laugh.

7. Your dream last night?
Nope, too tired.

8. Your favorite drink?
Bring me coffee!

9. Your dream car?
Parked in driveway.

10. The room you’re in?
Total cube farm.

12. Your fears?
Snakes and failure.

14. Who did you hang out with last night?
My boyfriend, Gary.

15. What aren't you good at?
A whole lot.

16. Muffins?
Cake for breakfast!

17. One of your wish list items?
....can't say outloud.

19. The last thing you did?
A frustrating meeting.

20. What are you wearing?
New winter boots!

22. Your pet?
She talks back.

24. Your life?
Pretty good, otherwise.

23. Your mood?
Skittish and stressed.

26. Missing?
My teddybear mittens.

27. What are you thinking about right now?
Trying not to.

28. Your car?
Sassy Mazda 3.

29. Your work?
Not going there!

30. Your summer?
Very far away :(

31. Your relationship status?
Muchly in love.

32. Your favorite color(s)?
Green, Red, Black

33. When is the last time you laughed?
In irony? Today.

34. Last time you cried?
Far too recently.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Can't...wait...any....longer

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Okay, I'm just putting this out there, but SRSLY.

S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.

If I have to wait any longer to see Quantum of Solace I might DIE. Right now it appears that I will need to hold out until Friday, or possibly even NEXT WEEK.

I am willing to forsake the use of vowels! I need me some Bond!

Oh, the woes of Motuesday

So I spent the weekend in Edmonton, freezing my tukush off and cheering on runners with bells tied to their shoes. In lieu of the weekend, I had yesterday off.

When I get a day-off-in-lieu, I like to really milk that day off. I spent Monday:

-Eating blueberry pancakes and reading Wicked at Nellie's (yum, no line for brunch, huzzah!)
-Updating files I never quite get around to updating at home
-Scouting out Christmas gifts for those I love
-Buying the most awesome winter boots that ever did live, as a gift from my Grandma's to me.
-Watching Disney's "Black Hole", this epically corny but also, in its own way, awesome sci-fi movie from the 80's.

But now I'm back at my desk. Taking my morning coffee/blog break. Waiting for a mail merge. Feeling for all the world like a Monday.

Oh, and if you've been trying to get ahold of me- yeah, my phone is dead. The battery is dead, I lost the charger, and now I discover that the actual SERVICE has kicked out. AGAIN. In an ongoing saga of: "I paid you" "No you didn't" "Yes I did, check your records" "Oh, we apologize" "Get me out of this contract" "If you cancel, you owe us $300".

Le sigh.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sweet Wedding Photo

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My favourite one, of the five, the bride got back from the photographer as a teaser. I'll have you know that standing that high up on a narrow little step in heels was treacherous. AND COLD.


Alberta is cold in November. Who knew?

I am ashamed of myself

For reasons I will not post here.

I have violated the number one rule of life according to this blog, and as such, I hang my head in shame. IN SHAME. (But it's much easier to hang one's head in shame when making a smooshy face, by the way). I should be kicked off the planet, I should have my transit rights taken away, perhaps I should be triple-taxed.

But I can't reveal what it is that I am so embarrassed by, because if I did, I would lose credibility and never again be able to mock people who make kissy faces on the train.

Whooops.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Since when?

Monday, November 17, 2008
Question for you, blog-readers.

When did the expression "gifted" become an acceptable term? As in, "Jane gifted me this brooch" or "Dick's parents decided to gift us a kitchen aid mixer" (man, I really want a kitchen aid mixer. I wish Dick's parents would GIVE ME a kitchen aid mixer)

Am I anal, or does this bother anyone else?

And for those of you that care, I made it through the wedding. I made it through the decorating and the rehearsals and the hair styling and the dressing of the bride and the actual ceremony (okay, there I cracked a little) and even the speech I made.

But alas, I have no camera (perhaps I could RECEIVE A CAMERA AS A GIFT) and so have no photos. Sorry. You'll all just have to imagine me with victorian-style ringlets and red lipstick, kickin' it in black satin with a rye and ginger in my hand, wearing the garter El Boyfriendo caught.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Want

Thursday, November 13, 2008
Do it. Go ahead and list for me what you want right now.

I want:

a gingerbread latte and a cookie
a hug, perferably including a little backrubbing
4 more hours in this day
a new Macbook
shoes that actually fit
someone to do my laundry
to just move house already
for my basement suite lady to shut the f up about the laundry room being in her basement. lady, you knew that was the case when you rented the joint and moved your virginal church working 45 year old twin bedded self on in. Suck it up or move out. Preferably option two.
To talk to my parents on the phone
Somewhere to go that is very very quiet
a tylenol 3
a million trillion dollars
to be essentially this happy, but not this stressed, for the rest of my life
to not cry in front of 150 people on Saturday
that digital camera I want that I keep seeing everywhere

Things I know for sure

The promise of a double-double makes getting out of bed in the morning a whole lot easier.

Hugs solve all problems. Except problems requiring power tools. Then hugs come afterwards.

Cutting out 150 leaf shapes out of fancy paper is going to take a lot longer than I bargained for.

Working until 9 and then coming in early the next day means I feel like I live here.

Tomorrow, I need to acquire: a strapless bra in the correct size (apparently no longer the same size I was in Grade 10, who knew?), pantyhose, lipstick that hits that tricky, fine line between "Sexy" and "Outshine the Bride" and a wedding gift. And several clean, yet funny jokes.

I am soooooo screwed.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guess What?!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I'm still at work.

It's almost 9pm.

Grumblecakes.

Schadenfreude

Most of the things that happen to me fall into one of two categories:

"This is so boring, don't you dare try to tell anyone this story or you'll have no friends, ever ever again", or, "This is going to be really really funny. Later."

Most of my blog content falls into the second category. I will admit that as of late, more and more posts are creeping up into the former versus the latter, but it's damn hard to make something entertaining out of "Last night I snuggled on the couch wearing slipper socks and watching TV on DVD".

That is my life, folks. I have settled into a blissful weekly routine and no longer make an ass of myself in public in the attempt to catch the eye of the gangly looking dark haired dude in glasses. Most of the time.

Instead, I try not to cry/burst out laughing when, after many failed attempts to pick a locked bathroom door at 10:40pm (when I really had to use said bathroom) on a work night with a bobby pin (can't be done! Hollywood LIES!), several different keys and a very tiny screwdriver, my ingenious other half takes to the metal knob with a drill and saved the day.

Lesson learned: The answer, apparently, to all my life's problems is no longer "Call your dad in tears because dads fix things; alternatively sit on the floor and cry." The answer is "Power tools."

Second lesson learned: crappy situations at the time later make good blog content.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Dear Martha Stewart Living Online,

Monday, November 10, 2008
You pack of liars.

Okay, so, I'm mildly obsessed with Martha Stewart's Everyday Food magazine. You may know it from the giant stack living in my house. Alternatively, you might be familiar with it's smiling little face at the checkout at the grocery store. Either way, the recipes contained within generally promise to be fast, user-friendly, and delicious.

They usually are.

Except for last night's "experiment".

Sticking to the theme of trying so desperately to be a grown-up lady, I decided that I would make my boyfriend a fancy dinner, minus the fancy. Okay, I admit, I was basically trying to show off my incredibly marketable skills, inherited from my mother, and not kill us at the same time.

The lesson I should have learned here is: cook what you know.

Don't attempt to cook a meat you don't eat, using a recipe you've never tried, and a cooking method you're pretty much unfamiliar with.

This pork tenderloin with a honey-butter sauce?

Turned out nothing like it was supposed to.

Okay, it was pork. I used honey and butter. But how one could manage NOT to burn a sauce made entirely from sugar and fat, cooked at high heat for over 15 minutes is beyond me.

And who knew? Pork tenderloin crusted in sugar and butter, roasted for too long because someone doesn't know how to tell when pork is cooked because SHE NEVER EATS IT, is not really that great.

Martha, you failed me. Or I failed you. Either way, I made Gary eat it. Using my single other marketable skill inherited from my mother:

GUILT.

Ah, the wonders of the short-short work week

This week is going to be a long one.

Not in terms of the number of days I have to be in the office- which is only 3- but the amount of stuff I have to do both in my personal and professional life. Yeah, that's right, I've got a professional life. And a personal one. Even though my personal one basically consists of falling asleep during Bond movies and thinking of different ways to style my hair that all essentially end up looking the same.

And so, because I was mocked last night about always blogging on Mondays about how much I hate Mondays and wish it was the weekend so I could watch british rom-coms featuring one Mr. Hugh Grant, I've got nothing to say. Except that maybe I wish it was still the weekend. So I could be watching movies. Featuring british actors once arrested for canoodling with sex trade workers.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Do you need a lift?

Friday, November 07, 2008
Awww.

I really really do.

weirded out!

Last night I had a dream that I was in the shower, listening to a discman. WTF? I don't remember the last time I listened to a discman. I don't remember the last time I even saw a discman!

I do remember the last time I had a shower (about 2 hours ago), but I sure wasn't using electronic devices or somewhat outdated portable music players while I did it.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

the larks, still bravely singing, fly

Thursday, November 06, 2008
I bought my poppy today. The checkout girl at Safeway had the nerve to incorrectly tell me that I was wearing it wrong.

No, young'un. You wear it above your heart. Not on your lapel, not on your purse, not on your hat.

I'm not the most patriotic person around. I'm proud of my country, for the most part. There are days when I firmly smack my forehead with my open palm over the things our government does. I'm not particularly supportive of the military. In fact, you could probably say I oppose military involvement, pretty much everywhere.

But I am proud of Canada, and I think it's important to honour those individuals, Canadian and otherwise, that served their country.

Plus, I always won the Remembrance Day Essay Contest the Legion had in our school. Quite often I won in our district, and even once provincially. Boo-yah. "Remembrance Day, Discuss" is one of those questions I was daaaang good at answering.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

May or may not have just happened

Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Chef Michael Smith (holds up two baked potatoes):
Now, I could scoop these out, add some cheese and twice bake them. But I've got a better idea.

Megan (sits up, spills cereal onto fleece pants, cusses under breath):
Like WHAT?! SCOFF.

Dear Future

Get here already.

Hugs and Kisses,
Meg

ps- but by "future", I really just mean "approximately 5:00, the time to go home and eat nachos on the couch and watch something and snuggle". Mmmkay?

Walking in a winter slushland

Ah, November. It snowed last night. I was so excited, I think I nearly killed Gary with my joy. That much squee-ing can be deadly. But then I killed the joy by having so scrape off my windshield while standing in a giant puddle of slush this morning.

I was over an hour early for work this morning. I don't know if you know this, but I am NEVER early for work. I'm usually "on time", give or take 5 minutes. But no, I hauled in this morning, disarmed the alarm, made coffee, checked my emails and started in on the giant pile of work I've been plowing through for the last 4 hours. And now I'm taking a break.

Ah.

Ah.

Break.

I told my boss this morning that I'd much rather be at home, watching Bridget Jones. She concurred, but did not suggest that we take a team personal day to go home and watch Bridget Jones.

Okay, break over, back to giant pile of work. Sigh.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Ruminating on a quote from one of my favouritest of films

Tuesday, November 04, 2008
To paraphrase, in the words of the wise Rob Gordon- "...what really matters is what you like, not what you are like."

And while I'm not entirely sure that I agree all of the time- one's character and values are significantly important to me in all of my close relationships- I'll provide you with a list.

Things I Like

-John Cusak
-XKCD
-Questionable Content
-Cooking Blogs
-Hot, Medium-Roast Coffee
-The colours green, plum, red and blue
-fuzzy sweaters that don't itch
-text messaging
-Apple Products. Almost all of them.
-Family Heirlooms. Mine, yours, his, hers, maybe someday ours. Especially of the jewelled variety.
-Photographs of babies, but not ones dressed up Anne Geddes style, with food on their faces or artfully naked ones posing on or around or anywhere near, quite frankly, naked adults. Creeeepy.
-Whiny Canadian Indie Rock. Insert here: The Weakerthans, Feist, The Golden Dogs, The Format (not Canadian but I make an exception), Both Wainrights- Rufus and Martha (Wait, are they Canadian?), Sam Roberts, Broken Social Scene, Stars, Arcade Fire (sometimes), etc.
-Bookstores that allow open browsing
-Movies on Bluray (dude, you can totally see the difference, I was wrong, I'll admit it)
-HIMYM
-Doctor Who, iffy on the future sans David Tennant et al
-Cheeses
-Pinot Noir
-Handwriting and Long Division
-Filet Mignon, Sauteed Veg, Stuffed Baked Potato
-Peach Iced Tea and Diet Coke
-Kraft Dinner
-Pizza with pineapples


Totally not an exhaustive list. But a list none the less.

A Day Eight Years in the Making

Today is a hard day. I'm afraid, my friends, that tomorrow will be even harder. Today, a group of individuals that I don't necessarily trust to make a good decision (please note: not "the right decision") will elect their next leader. And everyone else on the planet who isn't starving to death- because clearly, those individuals have bigger problems- is holding their breath. And feeling, if you're me, completely hopeless.

Why don't I have faith?

Because this decision, made by the people, is ultimately made.by.the.people. That's a good thing, right? Yeah, sure. It's a great thing. It's absolutely the ONLY way it should be. Individuals, I trust. But People as a collective, I can't. I don't really have faith in a Nation to make a good decision, when their track record pretty much blows.

This was going to be a far more intelligent blog post, but let's cut to the chase:

Yankees, you're gonna make the wrong decision, because talk is cheap. Talk means nothing. You can wave your flag up and down the street and post on your blog and put a sign on your lawn and tell your neighbours and coworkers how enlightened you are to back someone different from you- but unless you actually BELIEVE in change and have the courage to do something about it when you mark your ballot?

Good luck to you, then.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Call a Doctor!

Monday, November 03, 2008
I just checked the weather forecast, and it's predicting snow this week! At least 3 days of snow!

And I am excited!

I think I might be terminally ill. I hate snow. I hate winter. I hate cold. But I am so very excited for the prospect of a soft, snowy, wintery evening with twinkly lights and a warm homemade batch of soup.

Yeah, I say this now, but the first time I have to scrape my windshield in the morning, I bet I'll be taking it all back.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Weekend Update!

Saturday, November 01, 2008
Eeeek, the first day after Halloween means the first day of Christmas Season!

Sarah and I hosted a little party last night that was a lot of fun. We had about 100 kids at the door and I was (unfairly) dubbed the Candy Scrooge.

What? One candy apiece! That seems standard to me.

This weekend I have high hopes of doing very little. I think I'm going to cozy up with my special gentleman friend, read a good book, maybe get a kick start on something crafty (I'm in a DIY mood) and watch some high-adrenaline action movies. I'd like to get a kick start on my Christmas shopping, but gosh-oh-gee I don't know what anyone wants...

(If I normally buy you presents, feel free to consider this your invitation to post what you want in the comments section).

Friday, October 31, 2008

Spooooooky!

Friday, October 31, 2008
Ah, Halloween! A holiday about eating food that is bad for you.

Wait. All the holidays are pretty much about eating food that is bad for you. Hmm.

I loved Halloween when I was little. I can't believe that this morning it was not minus three thousand degrees and snowing. I remember snow on the ground for every single Halloween. Oh, how good I looked in those lovingly hand-made costumes yanked over a snowsuit.

Some of my fondest Halloween memories are of carving pumpkins with my Mom. If I remember correctly, we had this giant red candle stuck into the lid of a peanutbutter jar that went into the pumpkin each year. And no matter how creative or artistic I tried to be, that jack o' lantern looked exactly the same every single time. (If you'll be Chez Moi this evening, you'll see an example of it on display!)

My favourite all-time Halloween costume? Robin Hood, when I was 3, accompanied by my father, Friar Tuck.

And my favourite Halloween treat? It's definitely not the popcorn balls- those were flinched out of my candy before I even got home, because they were 'dangerous' (Mom's favourite treat). Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Those were my favourite.

And this concludes Megan's walk down Halloween Memory Lane. Thank you for listening.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

BONUS!

Thursday, October 30, 2008
Yeaaaaah, I'm right in the middle of waiting for a giant download that is preventing me from doing the work I need to do until it downloads, so here I be, bloggin' again.

I was in our office kitchen a few minutes ago, refilling my cup of coffee. I love my coffee cup, but I hate the way it fails to keep my coffee hot. It's super cute, it's in a trendy colour scheme and says "coffee" in about 15 different languages all around it. But it's huge. And therefore, before I get to the bottom of the cup, the sweet sweet coffee has gone cold.

I remember my first cup of coffee. It was in the Home Ec Lab during a Junior Boys' volleyball tournament. I was sitting at a table with Candice and Tyler, wating for the next game I reffed to start. They were out of soda, and the coffee was free. It was dark and oily and so strong that I actually put a rolo candy in it to sweeten it.

I remember the first time I went to Starbucks. It was March, we were in Vegas and it had started to snow. Of all things. Snow. Mom and I were shopping and were improperly dressed. We stopped in at Starbucks and I had a hot chocolate. It was so special, such a vacation treat.

Now I drink coffee every day, and it's not special. It's not a treat. It's a necessity, and I am cranky without it. But now I'm all warm fuzzy and sentimental, and my download?

Still not finished.

What? It's not Friday?

I'm very excited today. I don't really know why; it's Thursday and I'm sure I'll be crushed with the heavy weight of disappointment when I have to get up for work AGAIN tomorrow.

Do you ever have that dream where you get out of bed, get in the shower, sit down and eat breakfast, get dressed and leave the house? Yeah, I have that dream all the time. And then I open my eyes and realize that it's too late to get my life in gear and actually do something with my hair, so I shlepp out to work looking tired and somewhat grungy YET AGAIN.

Thankfully my hair has reached the length of fitting in a ponytail. Those few months back at the beginning of this year were ROUGH.

Oh, wait. Those few months back at the beginning of the year, I was underemployed, so no one CARED what I looked like!

Sigh.

Yesterday we were standing around a tray of cupcakes at work, and of course, when you've got 8 women standing around a tray of cupcakes, immediate judgement of appearance occurs. Someone said something about makeup and hairstyling, and it was decided that none of us at Ye Olde Workplace are really concerned about it.

Meaning, that no one bats an eye when I come into work in the morning breaking the dress code, with no mascara and a sad, sad ponytail disguised as a "hairstyle" with a banana clip.

If only I had a functioning alarm clock and more- nay, some- ambition, I might wow them. I might someday wow them with styled hair and a coordinating outfit.

But don't count on it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Personal Philosophy Point # 37

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I think that the best fun is that which you make of yourself.

Halloweiner is rapidly approaching, and with the candies purchased (and partially devoured...what, you try staring at a 120 count box of treats for a week and not opening it!), the pumpkin chilling on the front step, and the invitations for the party I'm hosting with my roommate sent, all that is left to do is costume up.

So...I'm not going to tell you what I've decided my costume shall be. Those of you at the party who read this blog will understand. Those of you at the party who don't read this blog...you'll be sort of hooped and not really in on the joke, but you don't know that because you don't read this!

Mwahaha, suckers.

Anyway, back to work. I've had 3 mini cupcakes today and the diet coke I finally acquired is getting warm. Ahhh, last hour of the day productivity. I'd be lost without you!

Monday, October 27, 2008

IMPORTANT!

Monday, October 27, 2008
There is a Polar Bear on my Diet Coke!


Do you know what this means?!


CHRISTMAS!

IS!

COMING!

Mondaycakes

Things I'd like to be doing right now:

Sleeping.

Eating Kraft Dinner on the couch in my pyjamas.

Sleeping.

Watching Bridget Jones, then Love Actually, then maybe Bridget Jones again. But not the sequel. Gross.

But alas, it is Monday. And I am seriously sleep deprived. Why is it that when you wake up in the middle of the night due to a screaming headache and then can't really get back to sleep for hours, because of said headache and also, weird dreams that you know are related to the book you happen to be reading, that when you finally fall asleep, within minutes the alarm rings?

It's like, totally not fair.

Other than that, my list of things to do this week is pretty stellar. I need to finish re-reading the Murakami for Book Club, make some pumpkin-themed treats, buy a pumpkin and carve it up, clean my house, do something with my nails, clean out my freezer and finish onehundredmillion small tasks at work. All of which are currently held up by a giant bottleneck we'll not refer to by name.

Also, I need to make a non-skanky halloween costume.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Oh, the wisdom of age

Friday, October 24, 2008
I had this theory when I was in university that my eye makeup always, without fail, looked better after sleeping with it on.

A nap wouldn't do. Oh no, I needed to eyeliner myself up, get drunk, dance until 3 in the morning and then pass out with a face full of glittery makeupy stuff. When I awoke, I would be rewarded with perfectly smudged eyeliner. And quite often, really cute hair.

Yeah, well, this theory does not age well. Now when I fall asleep with makeup on (because I'm laaaazy or because these days, I almost always fall asleep on the couch in the middle of a movie, not because I'm out dancing on tables until the wee hours), I look atrocious the next day.

We're talking a pasty skinned, dark shadows under the eyes, messy haired disaster.

Why? Why, Father Time, must you be so cruel like this? It's so not fair.

Sleeeeeep

I am so looking forward to this weekend. I need sleep like you wouldn't believe. This morning I woke up at 9:03 and thought to myself, "crap".

This weekend I am putting my relationship to what I consider to be a true test.

I am going to a Stagette/Bachelorette/Hen/Whatever the heck you want to call it Party. I plan to drink copious amounts of vanilla vodka and shooters and dance to country music because we are having said party at ye olde local honky tonk.

I can't believe I just used the word honky tonk.

Anywho, AFTER I get irresponsibly intoxicated, Gary has been given the potentially difficult task of picking me up at the bar.

I apologize in advance, Gary, for any hiccuping, random bursts of "I like you, no like, I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally like you", uncontrollable gigglig. and the hangover I'm going to have on Sunday.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

but I bruise so easily!

Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thanks, PatZ. You jerk. Punching me in the face* first thing in the morning. As if having to go to work yet again wasn't bad enough!


5 things I was doing 10 years ago:

1. Playin' basketball, practicin' french horn, holdin' down the Middle Years Council Presidency and generally being in Grade 9.
2. Obsessing about whether or not Bradley H. would go out with me, like, ever. (Answer: no)
3. Sticking glitter to my face at school dances in an attempt to woo Bradley H.
4. Writing in my journal, largely about Bradley H.
5. Choreographing elaborate dances to the musical genius of Aqua, the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys.

5 things on my to do list today:

1. Print off several fundraising reports.
2. Make a reservation at the bar for Angie's stagette on Saturday.
3. Pirate a copy of the Adobe Creative Suite.
5. Settle on catering menu for work event in November that I will not be attending.

5 snacks that I love:

1. Gummi Bears
2. Nachos with extra cheese
3. scrambled egg with salsa and cheese wrapped in a tortilla
4. corn pops with really cold milk
5. ripple chips without dip

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire :

1. Pay off debt! All of it. Student loan, car loan, et cetera.
2. Buy a large condo in the inner city area.
3. Take yearly vacations to exotic places.
4. Start my own business- maybe a book store, maybe a laundromat/night club/family restaurant called Chez Chapmaneroni's.
5. Buy a Chanel suit and a Birkin bag.

5 places I've lived:

1. Eatonia
2. Kananaskis Hall
3. Cascade Hall
4. the house on 11th
5. the house on 5th

5 jobs I've had:

1. Convenience store clerk
2. Expensive Chocolate sales girl
3. Admin Assistant for a Land Company.
4. Publicist for a Pro. Theatre Company
5. Communications Coordinator for a health-related non-profit organization


5 people I punch:

1. Amanda
2. Laurel
3. Mom
4. Raymondo
5. Jon (har)


*because you might not catch on, "punch" now equals "tag". God, things move so quickly on the internets.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Facebook Status I don't have the balls for

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Megan wishes you'd consider checking for spelling.

Megan is convinced that most of you are idiots.

Megan is only friends with you because she wanted to see if you'd gotten fat. And you have.

Megan can't stand the sound of your voice.

Megan is not your assistant.

Megan is still mad at you for that thing you did to her in Grade 10.

Megan is much happier without you around.

Megan is madly, madly in love but knows how much everyone hates sappy status posts.

Megan actually really likes the new facebook.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ack, Speeches!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Unlike many (most?) people, I have no qualms about speaking in public. Well, the speaking part. Standing before a group of people and talking holds no concerns for me. It doesn't scare me.

BUT.

Sounding like a MORON while speaking in front of a group of people?

ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY.

I'm in a wedding in three weeks, and daaamn, I totally forgot that I have to give a speech. I'm about 90% positive that I will cry my eyes out during this wedding. When I accompanied the bride on her wedding dress buying expedition? I cried. At her shower? I cried. When we talk about wedding plans? I cried. When she told me what they were engraving on the inside of their rings? I cried. AT BOSTON PIZZA. Mortifying.

And I'm an uuuuuglly crier.

So. To the experienced blog reader audience I go. How do I give a sentimental speech about one of my dearest, most loved friends, in front of her family and 150 people that love her, without becoming a snivelling mess?

Also, where's the line re: drunken university stories?

My next big business idea

Why do they not make caffeinated wine?

Think about it.

It would revolutionize the dinner party. Perhaps not for the better. But at the very least, for the more interesting.

**

I am feeling heaps better about life now. I'm not sure if I needed a serious wine-induced slumber or just some time to let it pass.

I wonder why I seem to have the outlook that nothing good can last, nothing worth having comes without struggle, and no problems means bigger ones up ahead. I want to try to change the way I think. I want to assume that life will work out. I want to believe that how happy I am today will last until tomorrow and the next day and the next.

Trying not to be scared of something that may or may not hurt at some undetermined point in the future- be it losing my job or the death of someone or something I love- is extremely difficult. And I just don't know why.

**

No, but seriously. Think about it. Caffeinated Wine. Could make millions.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I also don't like movies with shower scenes of any kind

Monday, October 20, 2008
Eh, this weekend was entirely too short. What I really think the modern world needs is regular 3 and 4 day weekends.

One could argue that with the exception of March-April (depending where Easter falls) and June, that we do get regular, monthly 3 day weekends.

But I argue that it's just not ENOUGH 3 day weekends.

One more day would allow me to get enough sleep and lazing on to face this work week. I'm completely, totally, definitely beat, Blogosphere. I give up. My soul is crippled. My will to live? Negligible. Last week should have killed me. It's entirely possible that without my really good friends and the remaining shred of common sense I have, I wouldn't have actually made it through and the world would be short one Megan.

But alas, back to work.

Not that I didn't relax this weekend. Oh, no! Lots of relaxing was had. I even made a really nice dinner for my boyfriend where everything was finished at exactly the same time and it was cooked through and hot and tasted like real food and DIDN'T EVEN KILL HIM! No food poisoning for us!

But then, combatting the relaxing, we watched Dawn of the Dead.

Uh, or the first 12 minutes of Dawn of the Dead.

I couldn't take it, Internets. I just couldn't do it. The gore! The zombie child! The MALL! How DARE they use a hallowed place of worship to the material gods for ILL like that! I'll never feel safe again.

Also, thanksawholelot, I am Legend. Now, not only am I terrified of moaning, staggering, slow-moving brain-devouring zombies, I'm terrified of cancer-vaccine related undead that can run REALLY FREAKING FAST.

And jump. HIGH.

Thanks a lot.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Rant: Druken Teenagers on Thursdays

Friday, October 17, 2008
Basically I just gave away this entire post with that title line. It's already been a long day and I caved about an hour ago and crosswalked myself over to the Starbucks. Sweet, sweet latte, you taste so good.

After an ardurous and frustrating experience with a "handyman" who came to fix our furnace, Sarah and I were pretty much ready to kill someone/pass out in a chocolate coma/cry.

Actually, Sarah went for a run and I stayed home and did most of those things. Sometimes you have to take one for the team.

First of all, I would like to know what gives anyone the right to speak to my roommate and I like we are children who don't know up from down. My roommate is very handy. I am not, but I do understand the basics of pretty much everything, including a closed electrical circuit. I did not go to Science Camp for nothing!

I would really effing appreciate it if middle-aged men would stop telling me that I'm a "big girl" and should "be able to [reset a thermostat/pump my own gas/pay a bill online]. I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY FREAKING SELF. I KNOW HOW TO DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS. AND MANY MORE. AND YOU SHOULD GO STICK IT, you misogynistic asshole.

I can also use big words.

This was supposed to be about how we had a comatose drunk girl on our lawn last night and how some sketchy kid was dragging her down the sidewalk, and our moral dilemma about calling the police or not, until someone's dad showed up and hauled Drunk Girl away.

But apparently I'm still really pissed off, so it's not.

Sorry.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The November Blues Came Early

Wednesday, October 15, 2008
There are two months of the year that I generally reserve for melancholy and moping: November and January. November is actually not so bad, because of the lead-up to the Holiday Season and all the festiveness and crap. January is usually worse due to the end of holiday let-down and realizing that showing people love through material posessions is fine and all, but leaves you totally broke.

For some reason, the November Blues have shown up early. I'm not sad for any particular reason, nor am I really that mopey, I'm just bleh.

I want to curl up into a ball wearing my pink socks made out of teddy bear skin, with a bottle of cheap white wine and about 15 crappy romance novels, some indian takeout and my well-worn copy of Love, Actually and hunker down until I make it out the other side of this funk. Listening to whiny Canadian Indie-Rock will certainly help.

Siiiiiiigh.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Food Hangover.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Last night after driving back across the barren prairie to "civilization", Gary and I ate more pie and set up his new tv. Or, I ate pie and Gary set up his new tv. (I did help! A little. A very little. And he did get pie, too!)

Then he forced me to watch The Happening.

I hate scary movies. Like, total and utter hatred. I think our relationship almost ended when he made me watch The Ring. Oops, he didn't know that. Oh, well, I am sooo lazy and hate backspacing on this keyboard. So it stands.

As it were, The Happening isn't actually that scary. This time I didn't lie awake, terrified to close my eyes for fear of horrible images burned into my eyelids. Horrible images that still show up whenever I'm alone and it's dark. No, The Happening is about this scary wind and people dying as a result of an airborne scaryness.

So aside from some gore and the dun-dun-duuuunnn cello solos, The Happening wasn't that bad. It wasn't terribly good- I wouldn't recommend that you hunt it down immediately and watch it and re-watch it again and again, but overall, not so bad. And it was blissfully short.

And surprisingly, I wasn't that scared last night when a giant gusting howling windstorm woke us up and required closing of the windows. I only for a moment freaked out, and I don't even think it was that noticeable!

Which is good! I must be getting less chickeny! Which is good!

Because the next movie I'll be subjected to is Dawn of the Dead.

Little does Gary know, the next movie HE'LL be subjected to is the Extended Cut of the Sex and the City Movie, followed closely by a sing-a-long version of Mamma Mia!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Gobble, Gobble, Nap Nap Nap!

Sunday, October 12, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving!

We finished eating a(nother) gigantic meal about an hour ago, and as tradition dictates, half the family is napping and half the family is fighting off the naps. My brother, father and boyfriend are stretched out across the Family Room furniture, and have oh-so-kindly left the tv on to drown out the sounds of their snores.

It's so not working.

I hope you and your family or friends or cat or rowdy neighbours or whomever you are spending the holiday with are having a wonderful weekend. I sure am.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

A Festive, Holiday-themed Rant

Thursday, October 09, 2008
This time of year always makes me a little ranty.

Oops, maybe I should clarify. The Holiday in question is not the upcoming Turkey Day festivities, but rather, Halloween.

I love costumes. I love dressing up. I love looking like an idiot, as evidenced by my day-to-day "Grown Up Lady Costume". But what I do NOT love about Halloween as an adult is the ridiculous expectation that all women's costumes for this event must be some version of sexy. Or slutty. Or tarty.

You can be a sexy devil! A sexy angel! A sexy zombie. The undead doesn't do it for you? How about a sexy fairy? Or maybe a sexy princess! Sexy red riding hood? (I'm guilty of that one...and the photos are really not blog-appropriate!)

You can be a slutty pirate! A sultry harem girl. A tarty cheerleader! A saucy nun! Even a Sexy Pumpkin!

When I was in university, I'm sure there were girls who were just dressed as SEXY! Like, "Hey, cool costume. What are you?" "I'm SEXXXXY!" in an unnaturally high pitched squeal!

That's what wearing just underwears in public does to you, by the way. It makes your voice come out all unnaturally high pitched and squealy.

ANYWAY.

So I'm feeling all this pressure, see, to create/obtain an awesomely epic costume that is cute and all, but do you know how hard it is to find one that isn't cut so high you can see one's allofme?

It is HARD.

I give UP.

Oh, and also, unless you want your PC to be flagged and your internet usage to be monitored, I suggest not searching "Adult Mermaid Costume" at work.

Yiiiiikes.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

because waiting for free donuts is a full time job

Wednesday, October 08, 2008
99. Do you have a job?
Yes, a full-timey one. I coordinate communications for a health-related non-profit organization.

98. Last 3 cars you were in/ with who?
Mine, by myself. A rental, with Jon and Amanda. Amanda's brother's, with Amanda's brother, Jon and Amanda.

97. Do you have a crush on someone, If so who?
I wouldn't really call it a crush. But I do have a soft spot for one Mister George Clooney. Swoon.

96. Lied in the last 24 hours?
No, don't think so.

95. What is your current ring tone?
My cell phone doesn't ring. It inconsistently vibrates to alert me of missed calls. It's reaaallly convenient.

93. What is the last movie you watched and with who?
Big Fish with Gary and Ashley.

92. What makes you mad?
Hypocrisy. Bad grammar. Gross injustice done by those who know better to those who can't help themselves.

91. What is your middle name?
The T. stands for The. On a side rant, can someone clear this up for me? I have heard rumor that when women marry, ettiquette suggests they drop their given middle name and change it to their maiden name. WTF? I like my middle initial. It's solid. Gene Roddenberry agrees.

90. Last text you sent/received?
Was probably yesterday. My cell phone battery is dead so I may have received one this morning, I just wouldn't know.

89. What time did you wake up this morning?
I rolled into conciousness for the first time at about 6:30am. I got out of bed around 8.

88. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I have many friends of both sexes that I can talk to.

87. What are you doing?
Waiting for free donuts and for my real computer to work. Le sigh.

86. When's your birthday?
The seventh day of the fourth month.

85. Does it bug you when people delete questions from surveys?
I contemplated deleting this question, but then I'd have to renumber the entire thing.

84. Are you afraid of growing old?
No. I'm afraid of not living my life to the fullest, I'm afraid I'll get there with regrets, I'm afraid of a tanking economy rendering all savings futile and spending my golden years living in a seedy apartment eating dog food.

83. Are you happy right now?
At this exact moment? I guess so. I'm not unhappy- does that necessarily make me happy?

82. What is sitting to your right?
A broken Dell. Stupid Dell. We should get Macs in this office. I swear, you open the box and plug them in and they work.

81. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Live, I like football. On tv, I like hockey. And figure skating. Oooh, Kurt Browning. Swoonlet.

80. Do you have any kids?
No. Maybe someday little Maserati and Mitsubishi will make a grand appearance, but don't count on it this decade.

79. Do you have a favorite stuffed animal?
Cleavage Panda? Nah, it's got to be Ginny Giraffe.

78. Did you go trick-or-treating this year?
No. This year I'll be handing out candies to adorables, not calling in from a hotel room in Vancouver.

77. Do you know who Mr. Mistoffelees is?
Gwaaaah?

76. What song are you listening to?
The melodies of the office. Clackity clackity photo copier fax machine hum.

75. Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes. Mostly ABBA. My poor roommate.

74. Can you Crank Dat?
No. I put my hip out trying that.

73. Did you have a valentine this year?
No. I was alone in a hotel room somewhere.

72. Last time you listened to country music?
Uh, on Rash Mountain at Disneyland?

71. What do you think of the song Boom, boom, boom, boom by Vengaboys?
I want you in my room. And then basketball.

70. Do you laugh at your own jokes?
Yes.

69. Where do you want to live when you grow up?
Somewhere with a hefty mortgage. Har. Har. Har.

68. How tall are you?
Five nine.

67. How many times have you jumped today?
So far, none.

65. What are you wearing?
I am violating the dress code. I'm wearing jeans and a sweater. Ooooooh.

64. Last person to comment you?
I don't know what this means.

63. Do you sing?
In the car, or on the couch.

62. Screamo or country?
I am too old for screamo. I am too urban for country.

61. Rock or Rap?
Rock.

60. Do you like cheese?
I live for cheese. MMmmm. Cheese.

59. Who called you last?
Gary, probably.

58. Last item you purchased?
Snapple!

57. What jewelry do you wear constantly?
A gold and diamond ring my parents gave me for Christmas when I was 16 or 17.

56. Are you a crazy person?
I guess it's all relative.

55. Who was the last person you huged (girl and boy)?
Gary.

54. What candidate do you support running for president?
I support Obama in the US election, in Canada, I'm still torn between voting Liberal and NDP. Perhaps someone would like to argue this with me/help me identify the best option in my riding? Perhaps I need to do more of my own damn research.

53. Are you a fast typer?
Yes. Around 78 wpm, apparently.

52. What time is it?
10 or so.

51. What do you smell?
My own hair.

50. Is anything bothering you right now?
My right leg itches.

48. What are you doing today/tomorrow?
Today and tomorrow, I'm going to work. Tonight I'm going to eat BBQ, tomorrow night I'm meeting a friend and his mom for wine. Mmm, wine.

47. What's your favorite colour?
Green.

46. What's your worst grade that you currently have & what subject is it in?
In Finance 317, the first time around, I got a full-fledged F.

45. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
Yes, I do.

44. If you died right now, is there something you'd want to say to someone?
I love you all.

43. How many friends do you have on facebook?
Somewhere over 200.

42. Who's one person you cannot stand?
As if. This list is long. And secret. I love you all.

41. What's your opinion on same sex marriage?
It's a right we are all entitled to.

40. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss my vacation.

39. What foreign language do/did you study?
French, Spanish. I am currently trying to teach myself German. That's not really going so well.

38. Does it take a lot to earn someones trust?
The first time around, no. But to get it back?

36. Describe your life in one word?
content.

35. The 2nd person on your top, do u hang with them a lot?
Ah, this is a facebook questionaire, and I've been called out.

34. What shampoo do you use?
Pantene.

33. What do you want right now?
A grande skim pumpkin spice latte with whip.

32. Jeans or sweatpants ?
Jeans.

31. What should you be doing right now?
Writing.

30. Are you going to do it?
Right after I finish this.

29. Do you have socks on?
No. I hate socks.

28. Do you own sunglasses?
Several pairs that look exactly the same.

27. Have you ever cried so hard, you made yourself sick?
No. I usually cry in the shower so no one can see me.

26. Do you like techno?
Absolutely not.

25. Do you get nervous in front of large groups of people?
Not really. I usually make an ass of myself in front of large groups of people, though.

24. What was your kindergarten teacher's name?
I...just...can't...remember...

22. Plans for Saturday?
Eating. In Eatonia.

19. Favorite TV show:
HIMYM, Dr Who, Veronica Mars

18. Do you like '80s movies?
Yes.

17. Do you like "The Goonies"?
Yes.

16. What's your favorite food?
Coffee?

15. Where do you live?
In a house in Kensington. Though I don't spend a whole lot of time there.

14. Last thing you ate?
Coffee?

13. Current problem?
My office pc is le busted.

12. Been to London?
Yes. It smells, but is a glorious city.

11. Can you lick your toe?
Yes. Oddly enough.

10. Who's the most photogenic person you know?
Well, it is most definitely not me!

9. Been to college?
I've been to university...

8. Ever been given a breathalizer test?
Never.

7. Favorite time of day?
Mid afternoon.

6. Ever licked someone's cheek?
Um, not that I recall, but that probably means yes.

5. What are you looking forward to?
Going to Eatonia this weekend.

4. Have you ever ran from the police?
No, I'm not stupid.

3. Ever gotten lost in the dark?
Yes.

2. What do you think of the last person who posted this?
unnnhh.

1. Are you wanting something you can't have?
A grande skim pumpkin spice latte with whip.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Julie Andrews, if you weren't so lovely...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008
I have had one of the songs from The Sound of Music stuck in my head for hours. HOURS. I'll tell you, having "raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens" on repeat upstairs in my brain area sure isn't one of my favourite things.

I am feeling quite agitated today. Oh, sure, just 24 hours ago I was flushed with hope, coming off a vacation and still glowing from my awkward, stripey tan. But now, not so much.

I'm bored, and antsy, and kind of restless, and I can't imagine getting through another three days until the weekend. Where I will drive home late into the night. And hopefully not fall asleep. As I will have passengers.

And screaming passengers in a firey car crash of doom? Definitely not one of my favourite things, either.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Blog Post Ole

Monday, October 06, 2008
Well, I'm back!

Okay, I've been back in Canada for 3 or 4 days now, depending on how you count. And what fingers you use. And how many mid-afternoon mai tais you may or may not have had. But regardless of mathematical differences, I'm home, desperately missing free salsa and chips before every meal but not missing a veritable lack of vegetables and having to constantly coat myself in sunscreen. Nope, not so much.

The best thing about a great vacation is coming back refreshed. I really am relaxed, refreshed, and bouncy with joy about the future. I look forward to conquering a mountain of tasks at work (if the internet/our server/some computer whoozamadinger EVER GOES BACK UP), cleaning my house, downsizing all of my material possessions and hanging my tinkerbell tree ornament at Christmas.

So for your reading pleasure, some moments of note:

1. September/October is definitely the BEST time to visit Disneyland. A solid lack of childrens and families equals less wait time for Megans. And that makes Megans happy. Plus, we're Canadians, so anything about 10 degrees Celcius feels like HOT SUMMER HEAT to us.

2. After testing 3 Mexican restaurants within a block of our Hacienda in San Diego, we determined that the best was the Old Town Mexican Cafe. But you know, as long as it ends in -itas, -itos, -adas, or -changas, I'll pretty much devour it with delicious abandon. Mmmm.

3. Getting a cheap mani-pedi so close to the Mexican border that you can see it? Sweet. Wearing spa flip flops, which basically means going barefoot, into the bodega so close to the Mexican border that you could see it? Not sweet. Bimbo breakfast muffins? Strange, but sweet.

4. Baby pandas are the CUTEST thing ever. EVER.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Checked in!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I've checked in for my flight, I've got my Disneyland tickets in hand, and I'm ready to go.

Well, I haven't packed.

But whatever. I'll get there. It'll happen. And at about 5:15am tomorrow, I'll be in a cab en route to the airport, and then, on my way to THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH and eleven days until I have to go back to work.

And if today doesn't hurry up and end, my head is going to explode and...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Solving for the variable, negative b plus or minus the square root of bsquared minus four ac divided by two a!

Friday, September 19, 2008
I have quite a few frequent dreams. I have problems with anxiety. This should come as a surprise to none of you, though some people seem so shocked.

I dream about teeth falling out. I dream about writing high school science finals. I dream that my house burns down, that I am unprepared for work, that my loved ones are dying of unnameable diseases.

But the most stressful dream of late is about the quadratic equation.

I can't remember the quadratic equation.

Over and over and over I'm stumped. Stupified. Struck dumb. I can't do it. I need it. I'm going to fail life without it.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Warning: So Sappy, I might get kicked off Blogger

Thursday, September 18, 2008
I am incredibly happy to inform you that I have managed to date the same person for six months in a row.

And this person, defying all odds, has not yet run for the hills or changed his name, obtained 10 grand in cash and a foreign passport off ebay, bought a shifty used automobile which he left in a ditch bearing a sign saying 'FREE CAR' as a crafty red herring and made way for Cuba.

In fact, he manages to put up with my ridiculous looking drunken fishy face, my pre-coffee bitchiness and the way I do the dishes- all without complaining. Mostly.

And to top it all off!

This person just sent me the most beautiful of flowers, in my favourite colour, green, which I'm sure was difficult because the Lord does not make many green flowers.

/sap

Thank you, Pat Zaph.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A How-to Guide on Using the Women's Washroom, for Men!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This was approximately the title of a book I saw at Chapters yesterday afternoon. I really wish I had the forethought to have a copy of it in my purse, for it would have been swell to have on hand this Sunday morning past.

Gary and I were enjoying an abundance of hashbrowns early on Sunday morning before we embarked on a journey to the past- or, Heritage Park, if you hate fun and imagination.

I excused myself to the Ladies' Room, only to open the door and come face to face with the antithesis of a Lady.

I stopped. Opened the door again. Observed the figure on the sign that was quite clearly wearing a skirt. I know that I was not, but I do on occasion, so I just assumed that was the correct door for me!

My Gentleman Opponent looked up and said, "No, you're in the right one".

Then what the h-e-doublehockeysticks are you doing in here?!

And then he proceeded to just kind of linger. I also, awkwardly, lingered.

Do you know how awkward it is to just kind of hang out in a Denny's washroom at 10am on a Sunday?

VERY AWKWARD.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

ackk

Thursday, September 11, 2008
I have learned more about dishwashing powder in the last 138 minutes than I ever thought I'd use, need to know, or ever want to know in my entire life.

I picked up this second job, see, in an effort to pay off my outrageous amount of student debt, to save for a flight to continental Europe, and in preparation of someday owning property before I can collect a pension. So every once in awhile, I'll work a weekend at a grocery store or department store, hawking some consumer product with a big smile on my face.

And if there is anything I am good at, it is hawking consumer products with a ridiculous smile on my face.

Here's hoping I will smile all the way to the bank.


Also, tomorrow I'm having two of my wisdom teeth out. I'll be all drooly and bruised and puffy and gross, just in time for the last viable weekend of warm weather! Huzz-ah!

too late to back out

ZOMP, have you seen this?!

(uh, by this I mean, click on the trailer and watch it)

I'll wait. No, seriously, go watch it. I'll just hang here for a few until you get back.

Did you watch it?

I think my head exploded!! The count is on. Somewhere around 63 days or somesuch. I'm too excited to do the necessary math.

But here's the bad news.

I won't be there opening weekend. I'm in a wedding.

UNLESS...we can find a really late night showing on the 15th. Then I propose leaving immediately from wedding in formal attire/bridesmaid dress and heading directly to cinema.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

18 holes

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Last night I had a dream about Hugh Jackman.

Not that kind of dream.

Last night I dreamt that I was playing a round of golf with Hugh Jackman. Instead of being concerned about my complete inability to golf, or the fact that it was HughfreakingJackman, I was most concerned about the weather, and my lack of umbrella. Who golfs with an umbrella?

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to ask you all to please remind me not to wear a coral polo short and white capri pants if ever presented with the chance to golf with Hugh Jackman. Not such a good look.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Things I didn't do

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
I had really lofty goals for the Summer of 2008. Today I sat huddled in the coffee shop next door (not a starbucks, for those keeping track) listening to the Norah Jones they were playing and realized that Summer is on its last legs. The trees are still green, but their days are numbered.

So I didn't get around to roasting marshmallows over a fire, having a picnic in the park or rafting down the river.

But I did go to a ball game, on an epic, not-exactly-as-planned road trip, to the zoo, on the roller coaster at Calaway Park. I watched several movies in air conditioned bliss, got a wicked sunburn and drank more than my fair share of beers on patios. I saw NIN, played many games of Rock Band, ate the most delicious barbecued hamburger ever made by man, spent time with old friends, made new ones and discovered the wonder of turn-down service at the Banff Springs Hotel.

I guess what this means is that next year, I'll just have to find a beach, pack up a tent, check out Shakespeare in the Park and go watch some fireworks. Hope you'll be there with me when I do.