Thursday, April 03, 2008

Seriously? Do you even know me at all?

Thursday, April 03, 2008
Through the wonders of Facebook, I received an invitation to my Hometown 2008 Pre-Grad Party today.

Right. Because what I am dying to do, what I live for, the very essence of me is just panting, yearning, aching to drive four hours back home to go to a bush party at Derrings with a bunch of children I used to babysit.

Um, okay. Look. I didn't even go to my OWN Pre-Grad Party. I do not, in any way, support the activities that occur at the Hometown Pre-Grad Parties.

I've got nothing against underage drinking (except that people who are underage should think twice, because now the people that are underage were like, four when I was in high school. Weirded out.). What I DO have problems with is a quaint local custom that I will expand upon on this here blag, because I can, and if there is one thing I can do with my little voice on this little corner of the internet, let it be to kill the fun and bring some sense to the actions of the youth.

What makes the Pre-Grad Bush Party different than other bush parties that occur throughout the year? Aside from the capitalization I've used, the Pre-Grad party starts with something called Progressive Drunk.

The grade 12 class is split up, put into cars driven by grade 11 students, and taken on a long and windy back-road scavenger hunt. The aim of the game is to find your liquor, which has been split up and hid by those wily grade elevensers, and then drink it on the spot where you find it, get back in the car, and find the next. When you've found and consumed all of your booze, you go back to the party location and keep on drinking. The first team there wins. And then you keep drinking. And vomiting. And drinking. And sleeping with your cousins. (Wait, that only happened that one year, I think it was ', I'm serious.)

So what happens when you put a bunch of teenagers in cars with booze on gravel roads going "no faster" than 140km/hour?

Idiocy, mayhem, potential death, hurt, idiocy, death, idiocy, death....

I know I've been shunned in the past for my strong opinion abotu this, but COME ON.

Aren't there parents out there that care enough to say NO?

Mine did.

Yours should.

God knows, if I'm ever one, I will.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

This has been your daily service announcement from the Fun Police.