Friday, July 18, 2008

Up on the soapbox, yet again

Friday, July 18, 2008
If you know me, or have ever been to my house (wait- how would it occur that you don't know me but have been to my house?), you are well aware that I am a total bookworm.

I love books. Novels, biographies, non-fiction, even encyclopedias and dictionaries. I am madly in love with the written word, and as long as I've been alive, I'm pretty sure that's the case.

Some of my fondest memories are of books. Be it packing the car for vacation and making sure that my mother and I had a giant bag of novels to chew through in the car, by the pool, and during quiet moments at the hotel or campsite; going to Camp Can-ta-ki-ye with my beloved hardcover Nancy Drew mystery hidden in my bag so I could read it with a flashlight in my bunk, or spending hours pacing the aisles in the library at my school, which naturally became spending hours pacing the aisles in the bookstore at the university.

I've almost always got more than one book on the go, and I'm perpetually seeking my next read.

So today, I went online to check reviews for a book I've been contemplating picking up, but am really on the fence about.

The author of my beloved vampire smut recently released a novel (for adults!) about...body snatching aliens.

Maybe it's just me, but body snatching alien smut just doesn't have the same ring to it. I am hesitant.

So I checked out the reader reviews on

OF COURSE this author has a fanatic group of psychofans. OF COURSE they become extremely irate at any hint of criticism. I can look past that.

I just can't look past extremely bad grammar, poorly constructed arguments and horrendous spelling.

Look, I get it. You LUUUUUUURVE our teenaged vampire smuttress. But LUUUUURVE is not a word, and if you want me to agree with you, you'd be best not to jump down the virtual throat of anyone who dare threaten the genius of your favourite author- while using outrageously bad grammar. For the love of toast, you are posting a review on the website of a BOOKSELLER! You are obviously at least partially literate: prove it!

Also, vowels are still important, particularly when making a point.