Thursday, November 27, 2008

How the Co-op Saved Christmas

Thursday, November 27, 2008
Scene: Co-op Marketplace downtown. Young couple enters.

One Female, mid-twenties. Brown hair, wearing awesome winter boots, looking a little weary from a hard day of work and waiting for her car to be serviced. May have taken car to be washed before being serviced, which is kind of the equivalent of shaving one's legs before a bikini wax; something she is also probably guilty of doing.

One Male, late-twenties. Bright eyed and carrying gym bag.

Girl: Blah, blah, blah, conversational blathering including "Hey! These apples smell like grapes, no totally, they smell like grape jiffies!" and "...there are teddy bears in the freezer. No, totally. There are teddy bears in the freezer! Why?!" and "MAAARZIPAN!". She is clearly out of her mind and it's a miracle he is even seen in public with her.

Guy: Mmhm, yes, mmhmm.

Girl: OH MY GOD LOOK.

Guy: What?

Girl: SOY. NOEL. NOG.

Guy: laughter.

Girl: No, totally, it's like the two milk alternative beverages I hate the most, in one container. (makes a series of gagging noises. Again, it's a miracle he is even seen in public with her.) SOY. and. EGG NOG. GAG GAG GAG, etc.

Guy: must. buy. Noel. Nog. (puts bottle of gross beverage into basket)

end scene

Scene 2: Downtown Apartment. One bedroom, somewhere around 700 sq. feet. Girl is in yoga pants and in the process of pre-rinsing casserole dish previously holding delicious dinner of cannelloni.

Guy: enters kitchen. Maniacal laughter as he pours glass of disgusting Noel Nog.

Girl: Makes compromise. Takes one sip of disgusting vegetarian holiday alternative drink.

Girl: Pauses.

Girl: Pauses.

Girl: takes another sip. Steals bite of cookie.

Guy: Hesitantly smiles...

Girl: You're so not getting this drink back.

The End.


And so, my friends, it has come to pass that a compromise has been reached.

This is apparently what a relationship is about- caring enough about someone to let them force you to try what in theory should be the most revolting thing ever, and then liking it.

But I'm totally not budging on Chicken Pizza or Hollandaise Sauce. ESPECIALLY Chicken Pizza with Hollandaise sauce.

2 comments:

cw said...

I can't believe you don't like regular nog! What do you drink your spiced rum with? How are you related to Erin?

Meg said...

Oh, gross and double gross. Spiced rum? No thanks. Gin and Tonic for this lady!