Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008
I'm sitting here watching the snow start to fall out my new window with its ugly view. That really has nothing to do with what I want to write about, but I can't figure out a way to start this that isn't "why do you hate me?".

My feelings are really hurt. And you know what, for some deluded reason, I feel like I'm too old to have feelings that are hurt. I'm old enough to just suck it up and move on. Be the bigger person, as it were.

But I honestly feel like I'm seven years old, sitting on the ground in the corner of the playground, wondering why the other kids don't want to play with me.

I think that my biggest character flaw is that I just want everyone to like me.

This is impossible, and I know this- because I certainly don't like everyone. But I try. I try to like everyone. I try to find something redeeming in impossible people. I try really damn hard!

So why do some people have to be so mean?

I hate being an adult. I want my mom.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Resignation...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.

I want to think that the world is fair.

That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paper work, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctors bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.

I want to go to McDonalds and think that it is a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.

I want to think Smarties are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple.

When all you knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So.... here's my cheque book and my car keys, my company badge, my credit card bills, and all 32 of my computer passwords. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause, TAG!! YOU'RE IT!!

Lady Rose said...

seriously Megan, I'll cut the bitch. Just give me a home address and I'll go to work