Wednesday, February 04, 2009

One you may opt out of

Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I wish it was still appropriate to post gold-star achievements on the fridge.

I'm angsty. I know it. I know it's probably driving everyone around me insane. In the past, many a person has tried to figure me out and while I maintain that it is exasperatingly easy (in a few words: Neurotic, then feeling Guilt about being Neurotic), the people in my life keep examining me with a big ass Nancy Drew style magnifying glass.

I feel terrible about it.

When I get quiet, it's because I am angsty. And then I'm angsty because I feel guilty about being angsty. BECAUSE I'M TOO OLD FOR ANGST.

I'm turning 25 and my life is pretty damn great and everything is pretty much running along tickety-boo and yet, I have angst.

I HAVE ANGST.

I was looking at my old papers and mid-terms from my last semester at the U of C, and you know, they all had the letter A on them and some of them even had a little cross-like sign beside the A.

And now I feel like that was the last time in my life that I'll ever be able to hold something in my hands and say, "Hey. I done good. See? Someone else even said so!"

Crap. I hate being an adult, I hate having to rely on self-evaluation and motivation, I hate February, I hate people who clear their throats really loudly multiple times a day, and I hate that I'm boring you all with this semi-existential quarter life angsty bullshit.

LONG LONG LONG SIGH.

1 comments:

Lady Rose said...

perhaps you just need to identify a more grown-up word for 'angst' so you don't feel too old for it. just shift that paradigm a little and I'm sure all will be well.

oh, and then would you mind whipping me up a quick viral campaign? thanks!