Sunday, March 15, 2009

The One Where Megan Lays it Out There

Sunday, March 15, 2009
I'm not having a really great week.

Every once in awhile I crawl into this dark corner of my head and I have a hell of a time getting out. In that corner, nothing good lives. It's full of extremely negative self-talk and absolutely no hope.

It's really similar to the space somewhere between my gut and my toes, where I push all of my feelings and anger and then stand on them all the time.

Neither are positive spaces, and that's where I'm spending all my time.

It used to be so much easier. I knew what I was good at: Megan is good at reading. Megan is a good writer. Megan is good at crafts, at listening, at thinking creatively and solving problems. Megan has a vivid imagination. Megan is confident and isn't afraid to try new things, even if she's terrible at them. Megan makes people laugh.

At this particular moment in time, I feel like I'm good at nothing. That I make no valuable contribution to anyone, at any time, or any point. I feel useless, I feel worthless, I feel like I don't fit in my skin, I feel like I failed.

And I just can't figure out why.


Abbey Shaw said...

everybody feels like that from time to time.
Just know that it is temporary, and you ARE the megan that likes to read, and the megan with the imagination.. and so on.