Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday nights are alright for mind-numbing bloggery

Sunday, July 12, 2009
There are some really unfortunate times in life to be bored. On a fourth date, for example.

By the fourth date, one should have figured out if they are interested in actually "dating" someone. You've become invested enough to enter someone's contact info into your phone, you've referred to them in conversation with your friends by just their name, not by "___, the guy/gal I'm seeing", you've shared numerous things including several meals, likes and dislikes, and potentially a toothbrush (but not me, that's weird, and also, I'm a devout Catholic. Minus the living-together-before-marriage thing. UNLESS we actually ARE married. Wouldn't that throw you all for a loop?).

But if it occurs to you on date four that your paramour is already boring...my friend, you have a long and desperate road ahead. Now you're facing a real 'break up' scenario. You're a jerk if you end it abruptly on date four, using my favourite tactic of "Fade Away", whereby you merely fade. away.

Someone pulled the Fade Away on me once after three months of dating, and the words I refer to that gent as in my own head are none too kind and would probably get me excommunicated.

But I digress.

Fourth date. Bad time to be bored.

An equally bad time to be bored? The fifth inning of a baseball game.

You've got a loooong way to go, brother. You haven't even reached the bit where you're allowed to stretch yet.

Let's see. During an exam. Bad time to be bored.

During an awards ceremony that you are hosting. Not an ideal situation to experience ennui.

As a contestant on Jeopardy.

As a member of a bridal party DURING the ceremony.

Oh, and at 10:30 or so on a Sunday night when you don't work the next day.

Too early to go to bed, too late to start to do anything. And if you're me, your roommate/domestic partner/boyfriend/secret hubby/whatevs is getting up at 4:45 to go to the gym and told you, without actually using words because that would be cruel, to stop squirming and sighing and tossing around in bed already and go out to the living room where you can be awake and LEAVE HIM ALONE.

This sucks. I'd ALMOST rather be on a mind-numbing fourth date right now. ALMOST, because while I wouldn't have to be verrrry verrrry quiet...I would be on a crappy fourth date, listening to some dude tell me some lame story about his childhood experiences with the neighbour girl and how they shaped his attitude towards women, lemon gin and the Liberal party. True story. That was one relationship that was clearly going nowhere.

3 comments:

Kathleen said...

Lemon Gin and the Liberal party you say...

Meg said...

Yes ma'am. Not to be confused with that physics-y dude who was a card carrying member of the Conservative party (literally) and still lived with his parents.

Kathleen said...

Sadly, I'm still in that hell. Never a good sign when your date begins a story: "I feel I am like Superman because..."