Friday, July 03, 2009

Today, I hate parades.

Friday, July 03, 2009
Today was the official kick-off of the Calgary Stampede, officially kicked off by a parade. On a day called Parade Day, generally observed as an unofficial paid holiday for most/at least many offices in Calgary.

Since I'm still on sweet, sweet vacay until July 21st (wooooo!), that last bit was irrelevant to me.

But since my home is located directly on the parade route, my day was dramatically affected by the parade. And if by affected, what I really mean is "completely %@#$*$$ screwed over"... we have kicked off the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth in fine form.

This morning I was roused from slumber shortly after 6:00 am by a combination of jet lag and Shania Twain being blased over giant speakers located in a parking lot 23 floors below and across the street from my bedroom. Oh, and the sound of marching bands warming up in the distance.

I peered out the window, bleary eyed and grumbly, to the hundreds already lining the streets to snatch up a prime bleacher seat for optimal parade viewing.

I drove Gary to work at 7:20, planning to drop him off and then return to help out at their company's customer appreciation bbq later that afternoon.

Except that I encountered a giant snag in my plans on the way home, that being...a complete inability to access my home.

I knew the parade route would be closed off to traffic. I am no idiot.

I just didn't realize that EVERY SINGLE STREET required to access my domicile would be blocked off by tarts in trampy short shorts riding stick ponies.

And because I left the house this morning intending to return immediately, I was not appropriately attired for a "spousal" work party. I was not prepared for an entire day of outside of the house activities. I didn't even have my bloody cell phone.

Do you know how hard it is to find a pay phone?!

Anywhoo, I couldn't reach anyone who was at home to provide me a place to hang for the rest of the morning, so I sat in Second Cup for far longer than usually permitted and then putzed about Chapters for two hours before fufilling my First Lady duties, shakin' babies and kissing hands and servin' up No Name Munchie Mix.

And I am finally home again, 16 hours or so later.

I hate the Stampede.

(Be prepared for more posts on this topic. I could go on forever about my true feelings on this subject)


Senor Ping said...

Tell us how you really feel!

post-fab princess said...

I freaking hate parades. I am anti any kind of communitas.