Monday, December 07, 2009

Lingering Issues that Probably Require Professional Help

Monday, December 07, 2009
When I was in Junior and Senior High school, I played on the basketball team.

(And the volleyball team, and the track team, and the badminton team, and the yearbook committee, and the drama club, and the spirit committee, and the student council. And I worked about 15 hours a week. Idiot, that's what I was.)

But anyway. I was on the basketball team. And I SUCKED at basketball. I was a terrible, pathetic excuse for a basketball player. But every winter, for four to six months, I laced up my sneakers and practiced several times a week. In high school, I had morning practice twice a week, and evening practice two to three times a week, and then played in tournaments almost every weekend from December to March.

And I hated basketball.

I wanted so badly to be part of a team. I wanted to be good at something. I wanted to be liked, to be included, to have friends. Being on the basketball team gave me something to do in a tiny town of 400, helped me get an occasional invitation to a party, and got me out of the house in January. And while my previous statement up above may cause you to believe different, I actually do really enjoy the sport. Watching it, that is. From the sidelines.

And I tried. I tried so hard. I tried, and tried, and tried again. I did my best, and then I kept going. BUT I STILL SUCKED. And I still went home and cried my little eyes out almost every single night after practice, because I just wanted to belong, be better. My feet didn't do what my brain wanted them to, I was bigger and slower and less coordinated than everyone, and I was ashamed of being the laughingstock of the team for SEVEN YEARS.

I played in a grand total of 10 games in my Grade 12 year- and we played close to 3 games a week for 5 months.

So the lesson here that I've learned, almost 10 years later is this:

If something makes you cry and hate yourself and wish you were dead, and even if you give your very best effort, YOU STILL SUCK AT IT, there is no shame in calling it off.

And so, on that note: I am quitting adult ballet classes.

3 comments:

post-fab princess said...

I am a big believer in quitting those things that make one feel inadequate, inferior or just downright doofusy. Or, that you simply don't like. So I say, well played Meg.

Robert said...

A lesson well applied
Wiser, if not more graceful
Well done for trying

Abbey Shaw said...

This made me both sad for you, and giggle at the same time.