A few weeks after I moved in with Gary, I was going about my usual routine, folding towels and sorting through the linen closet.
Tucked between some towels his dad lifted from the Four Seasons sometime in the late 80s (awesome towels, btw) was a neon pink and orange bikini.
When you were growing up, did you know anyone who had a cabin/cottage at the lake, or their own pool or hot tub? If you did, you were lucky! But did those people have the 'guest swimsuits'? I understand the generosity of those hosts and hostesses. Nothing sucks more than showing up for a weekend with Uncle Hank and Aunt Myrtle and realizing you forgot your swimmin' togs. But surprise! They have one you can use!
But guest swimsuits. Those creep me out. Number one, don't tell me about the sanitizing effects of chlorine, or how they are always washed with extra-duty Tide. You're still basically wearing public underwear.
Now, maybe I'm a bitter shrew, but we have a swimming pool and not once have I considered stocking up on a variety of sizes of trunks and tankinis.
So imagine my surprise when I found a bonus swimsuit in the linen closet. And imagine my disappointment in myself when my initial thought was "Gee. That colour combo wouldn't really flatter Gary at all."
To sum it up, people, do like Gary's friend Ashley does - and feel free to BRING your own swimsuit over and leave it here, if you can't be bothered to remember it every time you come visit. Just write your name on the label to avoid future mental breakdowns about whether or not I've found myself YET AGAIN dating a man who likes to wear ladies' swimsuits.
And yes, consider that an open invitation to come use the pool.
1 day ago