Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The world needs more Grandmas

Tuesday, August 31, 2010
My Grandma Clara wants me to enter a writing contest.
 
Not just any writing contest, but the CBC Literary Awards.
 
Of course, this is preposterous. I love writing. I love words. I even love typing. I keep a giant stack of scrap paper stapled together in my drawer at work for one purpose only - to write out those thoughts that chase me around and around. I have notebooks and computer files and two freaking blogs. But I know better. I write, but I'm not a writer.
 
I am not entering the CBC Literary Awards.
 
Whether I enter or not, whether I pull together some higgledy piggledy portfolio of what I consider to be my "best work" or not, this is beside the point. The point? Just knowing that my Grandma has so much faith in me, and loves me so much, and thinks I'm brilliant and special - that's award enough.
 
This might be the problem with today's kids, guys. Parents are supposed to raise you. They make a decent adult out of the clay of childhood. They teach you the tough lessons, and stay up with you at night when you're sick, and ground you for reasons beyond your comprehension. It's love, but it's hard, and sometimes, you hate each other. And that is the way it's supposed to be. Parents are loving and encouraging and positive, sure, but there is inherent responsibility in making sure your precious prince or princess becomes a responsible, grounded human.
 
Somewhere along the way, we all became special princesses with a shoebox full of participation ribbons and gold stars for effort and massive applause for merely existing.
 
Parents ground us, teach us, stretch us when we don't want to be stretched and push even when it would be so much easier to give up. Learn from those mistakes. Take responsibility for your actions. Seize the consequences.
 
And grandparents? They exist to tell you how freaking fantastic you are. That you, to them, are one hundred percent perfection.
 
It's a balance.
 
And I know that my own beloved Mom and Dad will do a FABULOUS job of being grandparents. Because they are kick-ass parents. I just hope I can rise to the occasion.
 
If not, maybe someday I'll win a CBC Literary Award for my scandalous tell-all, "How I Effed up My Child in Three Easy Steps."

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thursdays Unplugged

Thursday, August 12, 2010
As I have told you and everyone else in my life sphere, when they ask me what I thought of last night's episode of The Bachelor, Gary and I don't have any kind of TV signal, service or package. No cable, no satellite, no PRV.
 
However, we are of the yaaaar, internet persuasion and like to watch our TV on DVD. We have the bad habit of watching shows that have been or are about the be cancelled. We like it that way - we know how many episodes we're signing up for. (though some, like Firefly and Veronica Mars, shouldn't have been cancelled in the first place!)
 
But this means that we often fall into the rut/habit/routine of watching an episode of the same TV show every night for weeks on end. I have watched 31 episodes of Highlander since we returned from vacation at the beginning of July. This is not healthy. I often find myself screaming things like "I AM DUNCAN MACLEOD!" and "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!" and hitting Gary with a pool noodle.
 
Oh, you think I'm joking?
 
Anyway, we've decided that maybe this isn't the best habit to get into. So tonight we're attempting the first Thursday Unplugged. No projector, no tv-on-dvd, no internet, no computers. We're going to eat hamburgers (because I forgot to put dinner in the crockpot AGAIN) and play chess.
 
I anticipate failure. Can we really go a full evening with no backlit screens to keep us company? What on God's green earth are we going to talk about?
 
And for the record, reenacting our favourite episodes doesn't count as watching them. FYI.
 
 

Monday, August 09, 2010

Facebook updates I don't have the stones for

Monday, August 09, 2010
Meg thinks you haven't been dating long enough to get married.

Meg wonders if you realize that the privacy settings on your profile are set to "public".

Meg thinks you are going to have one hella ugly baby. Eeeesh.

Meg wishes that people that aren't her would stop getting engaged.

On the other hand, Meg cannot BELIEVE that you're still not engaged yet. What, hasn't it been like seven years?

Meg hates that new haircut of yours.

Meg thinks you're too old to post photos of yourself drunk/stoned at a party.

Meg thinks you're too young to post photos of yourself drunk/stoned at a party.

Meg can't believe the number of photos of you drunk/stoned at a party on facebook.

Meg thinks you've got to be an absolute MORON not to realize that your boss is also looking at those photos.

Meg can't believe how much weight you've gained since the last time she saw you.

Meg can't believe you wore jeans, a white tank top and rubber flip flops to a funeral. Who raised you?

Meg can't believe you just typed that on facebook. Have you no shame?