There are a lot of things I used to do *cough*still do*cough* that I thought were really clever, but actually just make me an asshole. Because I'm preparing for The Year of Shame, where I will attempt to shame myself and others out of their bad habits and behaviours, it's time to fess up.
1. Correcting grammar and spelling on menus, signs and posters with a sharpie. This is neither original nor polite. Plus, spending most of a 40 hour work week for the last five years correcting other people's grammar kind of sucks the joy out of it.
2. Using coffee mugs or wearing things with either independent radio station logos OR local indie rock band logos on them when I don't listen to either. Or donate money to their fundraisers. I just want people to think I listen to CJSW because it's the cool thing to do. Apparently the fact that I listen to the Classic Rock station or the Glee soundtrack when left to my own devices is shameful enough to make me think it's okay to LIE.
3. Reading books by, say, Naomi Klein and then taking every single opportunity possible to reference them, proving to people that I've read them. Uh, no one cares that I've been trying to impress them by reading impressive shit.
4. Stocking my office bookshelves with back-issues of The Walrus, Mental Floss, Adbusters, Maison Neuve...etc...because I want the people I work with to think I do something other than read Glamour. Oddly enough, this is sort of only half applicable because in purchasing those magazines, I've contributed to keeping them afloat. Also, sometimes I get bored and flip through them and realize that they are all awesome publications. So...jury's still out on this.
5. I occasionally do not recycle. Make it even the SLIGHTEST bit difficult for me when I'm in a bad mood and that newspaper is going in the trash can. Sorry, Earth.
6. Ordering high-maintenance and annoying drinks at Starbucks, because I thought a $6 cup of coffee was a status symbol and that making some poor barista's morning just a little more difficult meant that I had power. Whatever. Extra hot, no foam, three shots - now I just want some damn coffee.