Friday, December 31, 2010

Five Years of Blogging

Friday, December 31, 2010
Wow. I missed my five year blogiversary yesterday.

I remember when I started this blog. It came on the heels of another, long-forgotten blog, where I attempted to bitch anonymously about people in my life I liked or didn't like, as the case may be. Then someone asked me if I knew what a blog was and if I had one, and I promptly deleted old blog (god forbid people know what stupidity I was capable of late at night after several whatever-I-drank-in-2005s!) and started this baby.

And here we are.

In December of 2005, I was a tired University student. I sat on the couch in my parents' house, wearing a yellow bathrobe, eating corn pops and generally feeling sorry for myself. I was convinced that no one would ever love me, no one really liked me anyway, and that I'd never find a job. But I put on a brave front and carried on and sure enough. I found that I was wrong.

In December 2010, I'm a tired Arts Administrator. I'm sitting at my boyfriend fiance's computer desk in fleece reindeer pants, drinking coffee and generally feeling shocked that half a decade has passed in the blink of an eye. I found someone who loves me, and someone I love, and lo! It's even the same person. But I learned that love isn't a magical band-aid. It doesn't fix everything. I have friends - not as many as I'd like to have, not as many as I had in 2005, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I've found many jobs. I've lost a couple of them. I'm working on not letting what I do for a living determine what I do with my life - even if what I do for a living is pretty rad. And I continue to put on a brave front, despite some really shitty internal monologue some of the time, and carry on.

Maybe this year I'll figure it all out and it'll be magical, but I somehow doubt it. What it will be is another year that I'm blessed with. Fingers crossed, anyway.

My goal this year is to still be employed in the same place on January 1, 2012.

My other goal is to be happier. Find happiness. Make happiness. Work on my attitude and my perspective. I have so many reasons to be happy. I'm going to work on creating things to look forward to, things to work towards.

Obviously one of those things is marrying Gary, and while I am not BURSTING with excitement, as some people have remarked on, I am quietly and consistently simmering with joy on the back burner! We're planning to be engaged for 18 months or so - that's a long time to BURST WITH EXCITEMENT! I'm sure I'll get there.

And finally, in 2011, I'm going to actually DO IT, not just think about it and talk about it and obsess about it. Whatever that IT is.

Happy New Year. Thanks for reading.


Anonymous said...

Meg - the dress you were asking about is by Matthew Christopher. I posted all the designer names on the blog because people were asking. Good luck with the wedding planning, I can't wait to follow along!