I have a very strong opinion about wedding parties. The people who stand up for you at your wedding have an important role to play. And it's not just wearing an unflattering outfit, shelling out mega cash to cater to your every whim and re-scheduling their lives to accommodate multiple wedding-centric parties, events and outings.
They are there to offer support for the marriage of the bride and the groom, in the days leading up to the wedding and the days after. These are the people you chose to stand beside you and proclaim, "we support this union! we will do everything we can to ensure it is successful - today, tomorrow and fifty years from now."
These are the people who will take the vodka bottle away from you, stop you from making out with that cowboy and pour you into a taxi three days before the ceremony when you've got the cold feet.
Heavy shit, right?
So if you don't believe a couple should get married, gracefully pass on that bridesmaid invitation. If you are unwilling to shoulder that burden, say no thanks. If you are still trying to set the bride/groom up with your hot cousin...then you know where I'm going with this.
Just say no.
And furthermore - being a bridesmaid is NOT FUN.
I don't know what crazy romance novel/wacky girlie bonding movie kool-aid we've all been drinking. Sure, it has it's moments - including being privy to the dirt and details of wedding planning. Having a seat of honour. Being recognized as someone so important to the bride and groom that they've asked you to play a role in the first day of their married lives.
Not always fun.
I didn't ask a lot of my close friends to be in our bridal party. I considered their lives, if they might have significant life events or other important things happening to them in the coming year. Do they live across the country? Are they planning a baby for roughly next year? Do they have demanding lives, short budgets and too many other things going on?
Then I thought about whether they'd be the person urging me to divorce the lug once and for all five years from now when the baby hasn't stopped crying for three days and my spouse made an idiotic comment about my penchant for yoga pants, or if they'd laugh with me and help me through it.
Young brides often think that their friends would be offended if they weren't asked to be bridesmaids.
I'm not exactly a young bride, and I was more concerned about the friends and family I'd be inconveniencing if I did ask. Which might have been presumptuous, but is it not more presumptuous to ask you to take off a few weeks, buy an expensive dress, dance with my future brother-in-law (you know, with the hypothetical odour issue?) get your hair done, fly across the world and spend a week helping me heat emboss a hundred and fifty place cards?
And while we're on the subject, I'm also hoping, DEAR LORD PLEASE, that my days of being a bridesmaid are OVER. Finito. Caput. The end.
Because I'm done. After spending all day Saturday searching for the right dress with the Bride, her mother, and her sister - who, uh, happens to by my fiance's ex girlfriend because I lacked the ability to say, gee, thanks, I'm honoured, but no thanks- I'm DONE. Call someone else. Because I love you all, really I do, but honest to god, the next person who asks me to don the chiffon is getting a kick to the head.
2 days ago