Monday, July 11, 2011

I feel charming, oh so charming - but that's easy.

Monday, July 11, 2011
I have not been feeling so awesome about the State of Meganness lately.

It's been a long, long time since I felt pretty. Genuine, 'check me out, I'm hot stuff!' pretty. I'm not fishing for compliments here, I'm just saying. It's been awhile since I've looked at myself in the mirror and been jazzed about what's staring back.

I don't know if it's my short haircut. While chic and low-maintenance and I do get a lot of compliments on, isn't exactly feminine.

I don't know if it's the clothes I'm wearing, that make me feel frumpy and unattractive and so very last season and like I don't fit in my own skin.

It might be the same-same makeup routine I've been practicing since 1998.

It could be that I've been struggling with self-image for a very long time.

Whatever the reasons, it sucks.

We're about a year from our wedding, the one day in a woman's life when she should, without pause or hesitation, feel beautiful. Everyone I know, everyone I've ever known, has looked gorgeous on her wedding day. And I'm sure I will, too.

Except I keep freaking out about it. I don't want to go dress shopping. I don't want to look at pictures of myself. I don't want to feel all the pressure of feeling like I look beautiful and loving myself TIMES ONEHUNDREDTHOUSAND when I really don't.

Argh.

Maybe I just need some new clothes, a manicure and some lipstick.

How do you make yourself feel pretty, oh so pretty, when really, you feel a bit bilge rat?

2 comments:

Marisa said...

I often feel frumpy, something I attribute to working from home and not taking the time to do my hair and put on makeup. Then when I do, I feel awkward, like a teenager again who doesn't know how to use the products.

I struggled with that while wedding planning, but what helped was (ready?) going to makeup counters and getting made over. Some of them were hilarious (gray eyeshadow reads like 1980's blue on my skin) and others were helpful, but all that makeup-wearing practice worked wonders for my self-esteem.

I know, I know, that's stupid, but it's true. And vain, but true. :)

Also, you may not feel beautiful going into your wedding day, but on that day, you will. I promise. Getting ready pledge your life to your guy in front of people who love you -- and think you look beautiful -- will take care of any weirdness you might feel, I promise.

Lady Rose said...

I have no advice for you. I've been feeling at my most frumpy the last 10 months or so.

I'm thinking your wardrobe is key. Maybe you need to do a big sort, identify a few key outfits and pick up a couple new accessories to add some pizzaz.

Or new lip gloss. In my experience buying a new lip gloss cheers me up about my appearance for at least 24 hours.