I remember vividly making my list of 101 things I wanted to accomplish it what seemed like an enormous amount of time. Christmas vacation was over. It was cold. I was working in a job that made me miserable. I hated my boss. I was terrified of how things were progressing with my financial situation. (At least I rectified that, though it took a few years and caused me endless amounts of grief) I was moving in with my boyfriend. I was a grown up lady. I was going to achieve these things, this list of 101 random things I put about 4 hours of thought, max, into compiling.
2008 was a horrible year. January of 2009 held a lot of promise. Little did I know that the coming year would be bumpy. I’d lose my job again. I’d have epic moments of “Am I doing the right thing, is this the right guy, why is there so much tension in this household – oh, right, it’s the fact that I have wicked cabin fever, no money and I’m struggling with letting him support me financially…”
Since January of 2009 I have had 3 different jobs. I’ve bought a condo and built a home with my partner. I’ve travelled to two, but not three, foreign countries. I learned to speak (at least a few phrases in) a different language. I didn’t sit on the beach. I didn’t go snorkeling. I made jam. I didn’t blog every day for 6 months.
Turns out that I don’t really care if I roast a chicken in a cast iron pan. Or about finding 3 specific albums of jazz music. Or dying a part of my hair magenta.
I did really care about changing my last name (subtext: I knew after a few months of dating that I wanted to marry Gary; it took a little bit longer for that actually to get off the ground. But the wait was worth it). I paid off my credit card debt, I started directing funds into an RRSP, I bought and furnished a home. I found a job I loved. Twice.
I guess what I learned most, though, was that it’s fine to set a list of goals. And goals are very, very important. But goals need to be flexible, need to move and change and grow. Because frankly some of the things I decided were so important in 2009 I honestly could care less about now. Having 101 of them was overwhelming and I lost interest.
So that’s about all I’ve got to say. Time flies, when you’re having fun/unemployed/trying to survive bouts of depression/elated with joy/eating bratwurst. Thanks for sticking around.
2 days ago