Friday, July 20, 2012


Friday, July 20, 2012
I've seen the same article pop up on my friends' facebook feeds several times this week, all about how hard it is to make friends after 30.

This isn't earth-shattering news to anyone who has done any combination of finishing school, mating, moving cities, procreating or starting a career. Making friends can be hard, this is true. New friends are especially hard to come by, and I'd agree with the article (go ahead, read it, I'll give you time...) - most, if not all, of the friends I've made since finishing university have been situational. Work friends. Friends-of-work friends. Book club friends. Couple friends.

But that's ok. 

This past weekend, we got hitched, and it was freaking awesome. And it was freaking awesome because we were surrounded by our friends.

The friends who stood up for me are 3 of my oldest friends in Calgary, the people I met when I was a tender green shoot of small-town Saskatchewan. For a decade they've been the three people I've turned to when I need to be slapped back to sense, told that my new haircut isn't actually that flattering, and the people who listened to me cry. 

But I've also made some new friends in my late-twenties, these so-called situational friends, and they've turned out to be some of the best people I know.

I've deepened friendships with acquaintances I made in University, I've gracefully exited friendships that were really just a drag. I've been lucky enough to have a mostly email-based "hey, we have the same career!" correspondence bloom into a full-fledged friendship of confidence and support. I have truly incredible friends, and as I flip through photos from last Saturday night, I can see how lucky I am.

Friends are important. I'm someone's wife now, and I can see how it can be so easy to smugly cleave together, ignoring the world, one united front of we-have-the-same-last-name. But I've gotta tell you, it's the friends that, after 3 bottles of wine and a whole schwack of cheese, that confess that they too have to poo every.single.time they go to Chapters - those are special relationships. And they're worth the "inconvenience" of getting off the couch, pressing pause on the Covert Affairs marathon and putting on some outside-the-house pants.

Friends are great. I sincerely hope I can work very, very hard to cherish and maintain them, even after I ride out the turbulent changes of the next decade. You with me, buddies?

And seriously, you have no idea how relieved (ba-dum-ch!) I was to learn that I'm not the only one who can't spend more than 7 minutes in a book store without hearing the call of nature.


Dana said...

It's the smell of the paper. I am sure of it. Something about paper smell makes you have to go.

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