Yesterday, like most days, I took the bus home at the end of the day. Unlike most days, yesterday's ride, instead of taking about 20 minutes, took a hell of a lot longer.
I was trapped on that bus for a lifetime. Young couples fell in and out of love during that bus ride. Children were born, grew up, and moved away during that bus ride. I got off the bus and a whole new version of Windows was being used. I had been on the bus so long that I really and truly was the only person left in the world without an iphone. It was an eternity. I know how astronauts on a long-haul intergalactic mission would feel now, returning unaffected by time to an Earth that had moved on without them.
If astronauts were real, of course. Moon landing. Hah.
But I digress.
So I am trapped on the bus, with the seething masses of humanity, sure that I would never again see the smiles of my loved ones, and I'll admit I was feeling sorry for myself. And to really salt that wound, for the entire bus ride, the top-heavy woman in the short, boxy leopard print faux fur coat in front of me screamed into her cell phone.
Just because I couldn't understand you, Lady, doesn't mean that I couldn't HEAR YOU.
But on the upside, I'm pretty sure that I spent enough time immersed in that conversation that now I'm fluent in Russian.
bourbon slush punch
1 day ago