Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Due Date

Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Today is my due date.

I had been told by everyone in the entire world, and I completely understood, that due dates are essentially meaningless. I knew the Fetus would liberate itself when it sees fit, and only when it sees fit (or is forced out by the medical team at Foothills Hospital).

But seriously, I am goal oriented. I am the person who counts down the sleeps until Christmas starting in October. I like to check dates off, rip the calendar pages down, draw big Xs. 

This is not working to my advantage, it seems.

I'm sure that over the course of the next few weeks rest of my life, I will regret things I did before I was a parent. I have many, many times made eyebrow waggling comments about the best way to get the baby out being the same way it got in there.

I have since learned the error of my ways. When you are 40 weeks pregnant and feel like you've swallowed a beach ball inhabited by a hyperactive frog and it hurts to sit/stand/lie down/move, there is nothing appealing about that particular labour inducing technique. I'm also sure that if you're married to someone who is 40 weeks pregnant and who feels like they've swallowed a beach ball inhabited by a hyperactive frog, who bitches about how hard it is to put on pants and how much it hurts to simply exist, the idea isn't really that appealing either.

I have never had so many people interested in the state of my cervix before, and I hope that as soon as the baby is delivered, no one will ever ask again. I am not a shy person, but I don't really think I need to discuss those specifics with everyone I know.

But anyway. I'm still pregnant. Here I am. Waiting. And every time I move and feel something funny, I think, "THIS IS IT!"*

But it's not, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be pregnant forever.

*It, for the record, is usually gas. I have never been more attractive in my entire life.


Heather said...

Hi Meg! My name is Heather and I was wondering if you would be willing to answer my question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1 AT gmail DOT com :-) I greatly appreciate it!